


Once Lost, Twice Struggled, Forever Loved

by Sky_King



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Being Jiho is suffering, Dealing with anxiety, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love will surpass even timeloops, M/M, Male MC, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop, hopefully
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2019-10-16 04:51:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17542994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sky_King/pseuds/Sky_King
Summary: All Jiho wanted to do was be a good person and return a lost phone. He was not expecting to become a fund-raise planner, to fall in love, and then lose everything all over again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a self-indulgent thing to help me pass the time. Then it grew to 24k and decided I might as well share. Hope you like?

The first time around, Jiho had picked up the phone, and gone to the address shown with the best intentions.

He was going to play good Samaritan, give the phone back and continue with his life.

The RFA certainly didn’t agree with that.

He entered the chatroom and lost his heart to the damaged souls within.

This is his story.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

> [Unknown]: Hello?  
>  >> Can you see this?

Jiho stands in the middle of the park and stares at the lockscreen of the smartphone, the message fading quickly before another one replaces it.

 

 

 

> [Unknown]: Is there anybody there  
>   >> ?

Instinctively, he touches the screen and is actually surprised to see it has no lock, as it immediately takes him to a weird messaging app.

He glances around himself as if worried that somebody would accuse him of theft. None of the people walking around the small neighborhood park gave him more than a casual glance. He had grabbed the phone on the floor to return it! He shouldn’t feel this stresse

 

>  [Unknown]: Can you see this?

 

> [User]: um

 

>   [Unknown]: Oh, finally!

 

>  [User]: what do you mean finally?  
>   >> Who are you?  
>   >>Is this your phonr?  
>   >>phone

 

> [Unknown]: It’s my friend’s phone!  
>  >>he lost it just recently and I’ve  
>  >>been praying someone would  
>   >>pick it up.

 

> [User]: uh, who’s your friend

 

>  [Unknown]: His name is  
>     >>Jerry

 

> [User]: well, not to be rude but  
>   >>this jerry doesn’t have your  
>   >>name saved.

 

> [Unknown]: The phone doesn’t  
>   >>have any other apps does it?  
>   >>^^;  
>   >>it was recently formatted  
>   >>it’s basically a blank slate  
>                               >>Fitting, don’t you think?

 

> [User]:???

 

> [Unknown]: Sorry, inside joke  
>   >>Anyway,  
>  >>can you do this?

 

> [User]: idk man, isn’t it easier to  
>  >>leave it to the police?  
>  >>your friend can come pick it  
>  >>up then

 

 

> [Unknown]: And how are we  
>   >>to prove its his?  
>   >>would the police hand over  
>   >>a blank phone with no code?

        

 

> [User]: huh

               

 

> [Unknown]: So?  
>  >>Can you help me?
> 
>  

Jiho stares at the screen, not knowing he was sealing his fate.

 

 

> [User]: Okay, fine.  
>  >>Where do I have to go?
> 
>  

He fumbles a bit with the phone, wrangling the location out of it. He takes a train and walks until he reaches the towering building, regretting it every step of the way.

It would have been so much easier to take the phone for himself, or sell it or whatever. It was formatted, as the other person had said, there was no way of corroborating ownership.

 

* * *

 

Jiho’s already at the doorstep before he realizes it, feeling chills going down his spine by the idiocy he had embarked on, but he decides that he’s there, he might as well finish his task. Even if the supposed owner was not even there.

Besides, whoever it is that’s sending him those messages knows the passcode to the door, so he definitively knows the person inside…

Right?

 

The apartment is eerily silent. Creepy.

And…

Jiho rubs his arm, crossing them tightly as he looked at the unsupervised, fully-furnished apartment.

It had so many expensive things. Why was life so intent on testing him?

He immediately mentally smacks himself. He was here to do a good deed, not to steal.

He just needs to place the phone on the closest flat surface and-

The aforementioned phone in his hand buzzes.

 

 

>                 [Unknown]: Are you in yet?  
>                  >>Could you do me one  
>                  >>Last favor?
> 
>                 [User]: That depends
> 
>                 [Unknown]: Could you download  
>                  >>This app? The password should  
>                  >>be on the table in the living room.

Well, at least this person knew the place.

 

 

 

>         [User]: Can’t your friend do that when  
>                >>he comes
> 
>                 [Unknown]: Come on, it’ll be quick.

Jiho downloads the app with a bit of effort, inputs the passcode, and he’s suddenly watching a fast-paced exchange of messages with at last three different people.

It is curiosity that makes him stay and read through it.

It is, of course, curiosity what kills the cat.

* * *

 

They think he’s a girl.

Just because he had had his hoodie up and hadn’t really shown his face to the security camera at the entrance (a bit suspicious, but he had seen worse, he figured) and because he couldn’t be bothered to change the set profile picture of a pretty girl with long chestnut hair (and he didn’t know the first thing about this weird app).

Somehow, it is infuriatingly hard to convince them. Jiho tries tricking himself into believing that they were joking and simply gave up. He considers threatening to send a dick pic, but he doesn’t have the balls to even try.

He thinks that it’s as bad as it’s going to get but.

The user with a 707 as name tells them that he’s going to do a background check on him and Jiho argues long and hard about his rights and privacy.

Before he’s finished ranting, the app lights up with a notification, of a redhead emoji humming.

[707]: Information acquired! He’s safe!

[Yoosung★]: He?

[707]: Oh, right. He was telling the truth. He’s a man.

[Zen]: There goes my dreams of having a cute new member.

[User]: YES!  
[User]: Thank you! I can’t believe it took this much effort to convince you I was not female. You are all, as they say,  
[User]: Thirsty as fuck.

[Zen]: Hey, not our fault you have a cute girl as pfp.

[User]: pfp?

[707]: Profile picture lol

[User]: I TOLD you that was not me.

[Zen]: Why didn’t you change it?

[User]: Hnngh, didn’t bother with it.

[707]: Oh I’m _sure_ that’s the reason lololol.

Jiho squints at the screen, okay, the app was weird and he might be a tad technologically challenged, but this mocking was completely unwarranted.

[User]: And what if I looked like a girl. Are you just going to misgender me for shits and giggles?

[707]: Uh…;;  
[707]: We’re sorry T-T

[User]: That’s much better.  
[User]: Okay, with that out of the way. Seven, I’m seriously thinking about suing you. Any last words?

[707]: lololol you can’t sue a man that doesn’t exist.

[User]: …

[707]: ok but in all seriousness, I need you to understand how impossible it is that you found this app. This is a secret app with a lot of confidential details. This is only necessary. So sorry for the inconvenience.

[User]: …

 [Yoosung★]: And what does he look like?

[User]: Say anything at all and you’re toast, 707.

[Yoosung★]: Aww, but why…

[707]: My lips are sealed! Dw, I don’t make a habit of exposing people, unless it’s necessary.

[User]: That seems dubious but ok. Anyway, you shouldn’t worry about me at all. I’m leaving this phone here and leaving.

[Yoosung★]: Phone? Leaving?

[707]: Ah;;; I’m afraid I cannot let you go, Jiho.

[Yoosung★]: ?????

[User]: J I didn’t give you permission to use my name. And what do you mean by that, is that a threat?

[707]: Sorry… It’s complicated.

[User]: Not my problem. I came here because somebody asked for my help. I was tricked, okay. But if I leave the phone and walk right out the door nobody gets harmed.

[707]: You know of this app, tho.

[User]: Just barely.

[707]: Look, I don’t think you’re dangerous, but you need to understand we have to preserve the privacy of our server.

[User]: How am I affecting it? Do you want me to sign a non-disclosure form or whatever?

[Zen]: Let’s not get too heated up shall we? Kind sir, this app, and the apartment you’re in means a lot to us. Seven is just looking out for us.

[User]: And please understand that I don’t take threats against my person well.

[707]: How about, instead of a threat, I offered you a deal?

[User]: Talk.

[707]: You’ll stay in that apartment and help us organize a fundraising party again. With that, there’s no way V would deny you are trustworthy.

[User]: V? What’s V?

707: V is the person in charge of organizing these parties, he’s also the owner of that apartment you’re in right now. He travels a lot so he’s not on often, but he pops in every so often to check up on us.

[User]: Is he like your boss or something?

707: More like he’s always looking out for us. Of course he gets the last word, but I don’t think he would deny you after this.

[User]: Gee, what a fantastic notion. What if I say no?

[707]: Would you want to refuse free accommodations?

[User]: 707 you piece of trash.

[Yoosung★]: ????

[707]: I didn’t mean it like that!!

[User]: Oh I bet you didn’t. Okay FINE! I give in to the capitalism hell. And a healthy respect for life.

[707]: Thank you. I bet this must be incredibly hard for you.

[User]: Understatement of the year.

[707]: Let us tell you about the RFA and see if you can’t see it in a better light.

[User]: Wouldn’t you know that better than I?

[707]:;;; ok, let me call you, this will be much better.

[User]: Good luck getting me to answer.

[707]: ^^;; I deserve that.

**707 has left the chatroom.**

**User has left the chatroom.**

[Yoosung★]: Ah, I guess it’s just us two then.

[Zen]: Actually I have to leave as well. Gotta go to the gym lol

**Zen has left the chatroom.**

[Yoosung★]: … How cold, well then I guess I’ll go play LOLOL

 **Yoosung** ★ **has left the chatroom.**

 

 

Of course Jiho picks up. He’s stupid like that.

“I have already deleted all of your records from my computer, and any information pertaining you, your family or anything linked to you. Other than your phone number and name of course.” A voice says without missing a beat as soon as the call connects. That 707 guy certainly had a deep voice. Jiho still wasn’t having it though.

“Perfect! Now just delete it from your mind!” He says with a caustic smile. The tone is perfectly conveyed if the other person’s wince is anything to go by.

“Ah… that’s… I’ll try my best.”

The young man in the huge apartment lets his shoulders sag, and rubs his forehead. He’s exhausted already and it is barely midday. “God this is insane. How did I get myself into this mess?”

“The circumstances are weird but… why not take advantage of the situation now that you’re here?”

“I don’t see how any of this is good.”

The other man sighs, as he mumbles something under his breath, as if organizing his thoughts. “Okay,” he says in the end. “Let me tell you a bit of what we do as the RFA.”

“Threaten strangers?” Jiho deadpans immediately, immediately killing the vibe 707 was getting into.

“…”

He feels only the smallest bit bad about cutting his inspiration. “Okay, fine, go on. This can’t get much worse.”

It doesn’t.

707 tells him what they do, about how they raise money for charity, and about the guests they invite. About how some of them are recluses, and offer healthy donations in exchange of confidentiality.

That last bit sounds a little sketchy but, hey, if the money ends up helping homeless teens and whatnot, Jiho’s not about to complain.

He tells Jiho about the sort of parties they hosted, and a little about Rika. He can hear the pain in his voice. He wonders what happened to her.

707 unabashedly tells him several ways in which Jiho would be able to help such a good cause. And he didn’t say it, but Jiho could almost pretend his life would have meaning at long last.

“Okay,” he says once 707 has run out of things to say. In all honesty he had just let him ramble, enjoying the bizarre personality of his. “I’ll do it.”

And like this, with 707 cheering on the other side of the line, as Jiho stares out of the window of the strange apartment…

He seals his fate.


	2. Chapter 2

Jiho spends the remaining day, lying on his stomach on the couch as he began going through the details of what sort of party the RFA hosted. He needed to know what he was supposed to organize before trying to convince the clients.

Jiho grimaced, he’d never had much charisma. He hoped things would go well.

The RFA don’t exactly give him much time to prepare, and he’s barely finishing reading a catering article when he receives his first guest email.

Rui is his first hurdle, and he’s an easy man to convince. Jiho asks him what he expects out of the party, about the past parties he had attended, and he makes sure to promise he’ll match his expectations.

With his comments in mind, he begins choosing possible venues, several catering firms to consider and everything else he could remember at the moment. He’d nag 707 for more information later.

 

(Rui, he would soon learn, would also be one of the easiest clients to deal with. The Oil Prince, for example, doesn’t have the sense to email him back and he’d ended up at 4AM, trying to argue with the man as they both struggled with a broken English. He wasn’t sure what exactly had gone down, but he thought that the man had decided to attend in the end.)

 

Jiho goes back to his own apartment one last time, retrieves his clothes and possessions and hightails out of there.

He settles everything in the huge, five-star studio apartment and feels completely inadequate.

No matter, he’d make it his home.

Kang Jaehee calls him. She’s formal and stiff, but Jiho appreciates her taking time off to inform him about the parties and the RFA members. He impresses her with the reading he had been doing, and the sort of ideas he had for the party that he wanted to see if they were plausible.

She had sighed in relief, “it seems like I misjudged you, Jiho-ssi. We might actually get to hold these parties again.

“Thank you again, for everything.”

 

* * *

Jiho takes a look around the apartment. The owner of it, a man that went by V in the chatroom had appeared for barely five minutes stating a vague, kind of off-handed approval of 707’s and Jiho’s deal, and delimited the areas that were off limits as to not trigger special alarms. Jiho might be a curious man, but he had no desire to know what the alarms sounded like. He steers clear from the forbidden areas –an idle thought of what could be hidden within disappearing as soon as he looked away. Instead he decides to do more important things and heads to the kitchen. He is not surprised but still mildly disappointed at not finding any sort of food in stock. Of course, the owner was… gone.

He chats with Yoosung and 707 for a while. He learns that Yoosung despite his childish behavior is currently in college. And he has an unhealthy obsession with videogames. 707 on the other hand had a terrible sense of humor that was hilarious in and on itself. Jiho’s a bit awkward, but neither seem to mind, and time goes by rather fast. Before he notices, noon arrives and it’s time to hunt for food.

He locates the closest convenience store and buys himself a cup of noodles as he considered what to do with his life. When he returns, the other foreign phone has gone wild with emails and messages and a couple lost calls.

…

Did the RFA members not have anything better to do?

He doesn’t call back. He doesn’t feel nearly comfortable enough to try.

Instead he settles down while he waits for his noodles to cook and opens up the chatroom. 707 and his insanity were waiting for him.

Perfect entertainment.

He opens the chat and he sees a very beautiful picture of a a long-haired, curly blond woman, with golden eyes in a white dress. She’s winking and blowing a kiss at the camera.

 

[Jiho]: Who is that?

[707]: She’s pretty, isn’t she?

[Jiho]: Really beautiful, yes

[707]: lololololol

[Jiho]: what now

[707]: That is a picture of me!

[Jiho]: Oh, in that case  
[Jiho]: You’re beautiful ^^, dresses suit you

Jiho smirks at his screen when Seven doesn’t immediately reply. “Got you, there, didn’t I?”

[707]:…lololol ur a weird boy, Jiho.

[Jiho]: says the man in a dress.  
[Jiho]: Is it a hobby or something?

[707]: If I must tell the truth, it was part of a job.

[Jiho]: What kind of job is yours??

[707]: It’s…  
[707]: a  
[707]: SECRET <3

[Jiho]: Hm ok, anyways

[707]: Anyways?!?

[Jiho]: Have you found anything about whoever brought me here? The hacker or whatever?

[707]: Hmmmmmm  
[707]: mmmmmmmm  
[707]: hmmmmm  
[707]: Unfortunately… no.

[707]: Before you make a jab about how I could find your information, but not his  
[707]: Please remember that whatever you post online is easily accessible for any sort of hacker.  
[707]: Or just a particularly persistent guy. This is… on another level entirely.

 

Jiho’s fingers hover over the touchscreen. Busted.

 

[Jiho]: Hey, um 707

[707]: Seven is fine!

[Jiho]: Okay, weird number person…  
[Jiho]: am I safe?

[707]: Of course you are! After all you are being protected by the Greatest Hacker of all times! God Seven!

[Jiho]: haha  
[Jiho]: yeah  
[Jiho]: thanks

[707]: Anytime! So!  
[707]: Jiho, tell me. You already changed your username, for which I give you kudos.  
[707]: But when are you showing us your beautiful face? It is weird talking to that girl in your profile.

[Jiho]: I don’t see what’s wrong with her. She’s cute.

[707]: Σ(゜д゜ ) A crush!?!?

[Jiho]: You can act all cutesy all you want; I still haven’t forgotten the fact that you hacked me to get my personal info.

[707]: ^^;; How could I make it up to you.

[Jiho]: I wonder.

[707]: So harsh!

**Zen has entered the chatroom.**

[707]: How about I suggest party members for you?

[Zen]: Oh hello, Jiho! Nice seeing you here!  
[Zen]: Are we suggesting party members?  
[Zen]: Let me help!  
[Zen]: This is a little embarrassing but how about my fanclub?

[Jiho]: Oh, that’s a nice idea! They’re already invested in you! More likely to come!  
[Jiho]: But Rui wants a fancier event, and I’m guessing other high profile clients would like that as well.  
[Jiho]: Would that be alright for them? Be sure to ask!

[Zen]: Oh? What a responsible party coordinator you are, sweet girl!

[Jiho]: um

[707]: lolol Zen maybe you’ve been single for too long

[Zen]: ??? I mean, I can’t deny that claim but what does that have to do with anything?

[Jiho]: Wait you’re single???

[707]: OMG

[Zen]: Yeah??

[Jiho]: I don’t believe you.

[Zen]: ikr?? With my incredible looks and my awesome talents, how could the ladies stay away from me? I bet you too can barely resist my charm.

Jiho feels a smile breaking through, which he hides with his hand. Could he play along? It would be fun at the very least.

[Jiho]: Oh, you know it ;) you are all I look for in a man.

[Zen]: You certainly have a good taste in men! Unfortunately, I am already married to my job.

[Jiho]: Oh that’s a pity. But, if you ever feel like having an affair, you know where to find me ;)

[Zen]: OMG

[707]: OMG x2

[Zen]: Be careful with your words, fair lady. Unless you want to unleash the beast.

[Jiho]: Wait fair lady?

[Zen]: Oh, I’m sorry my director is calling me!  
[Zen]: ttyl!

[707]: OMG  
[707]: lololol someone seems to have the wrong idea again

[Jiho]: unbelievableI swear to god, how horny are the lot of you???

[707]: This is why you should update your pfp!

[Jiho]: Eh, I’ll survive.

[707]: What if you give him the wrong impression?

[Jiho]: pfft, we’re messing around. It’ll die out soon enough on its own. He’ll realize at some point.

[707]: Or _will he?_ *wiggles eyebrows*

[Jiho]: have you seen him? _Please_

[707]: Oh! You learned to italice your words! I’m such a proud father!

[Jiho]: First, no. Second… still no.

[707]: IDK why you are so doubtful tho. From the pictures I’ve seen you are very cute.

[Jiho]: ew, stalker much?

[707]: Oh please, the pictures are just from your Fakebook. Which you haven’t even used in eight years more or less. IDK what you look like now.

[Jiho]: Like a very ugly imp.

[707]: Hm, surely.

[Jiho]: Why are we even talking about this?

[707]: Because you have an erroneous image of yourself?

[Jiho]: And you lot seem to have a weird fixation on me. Lay off, Seven. Before I remember to be mad at you.

[707]: Alrighty then.  
[707]: hm, as much as I love tiptoeing around minefields with you, my boss is calling me. I need to dash

[Jiho]: Seven?

[707]: ya?

[Jiho]: thank you

**Jiho has left the chatroom.**

[707]: :o  
[707]: :)

 

 

* * *

 

Jiho continues researching about catering services and what was included in each company, as he lounges in the living room, the bedroom and eventually settles again on the kitchen.

He doesn’t notice how much time he spent reading when a buzzing catches his attention and looks up at the foreign phone he had left there. It buzzed again twice before Jiho got to it. The RFA had been active on the chatroom again. He scrolls through a couple and feels another smile crawling up his face as Jaehee formally accepted him as a new member, praised his hard work again and gave him a warm welcome.

Then her boss enters the chat and it devolves into a fight over Jumin’s cat. It made him feel bad about her seeing at what hours she was being called, and for what purpose.

Jiho wouldn’t answer his boss past his worktime. No matter the extra pay.

Well, not like he had a boss right now, funny thing.

After that, the chat had been mostly quiet. He moves on to the messages, deciding to first shoot Jaehee another thanks, and to encourage her that her boss was being completely unfair and she had the right to be angry about it.

He just finishes sending it off when he receives an email.

He opens it and is surprised at seeing it was Zen’s fanclub president. The actor had seriously gotten down to work, hadn’t he?

She seems agreeable, even if a bit, uh, possessive over Zen, so Jiho gives her all the information available, which so far included the thematic of the party and the dress code.

He remembers again how he can’t really choose a venue without a set date, and makes a mental note to ask in the chat at a later date.

The man goes back to his messages and smiles again at seeing Zen excitedly babbling about his club.

> [Jiho]: They seem like nice people  
>  >>thanks again for contacting them

It’s not even ten minutes later, that Zen replies,

> [Zen]: Why are you awake so late,  
>  >>beautiful Jiho?

Jiho snorts. It’s barely 12. “I’m a bit of a night owl.” He lies.

> [Zen]: Ah! Then you’re  
>  >> like me!  
>  >> I often return home  
>  >>from practice and just  
>  >>keep reading my lines  
>  >>over and over again.
> 
> [Jiho]: A theater junkie,  
>  >> indeed.
> 
> [Zen]: Haha, you could  
>  >> say so.
> 
> [Jiho]: Ah, I wish someone  
>  >> would recite lines to me  
>  >>with his beautiful voice  
>  >> until I fell asleep.
> 
> Zen: Hmm~ that is a  
>  >> tempting offer.
> 
> [Jiho]: Oh my, are you  
>  >> volunteering?
> 
> [Jiho]: no, I’m joking.  
>  >>You need your sleep  
>  >> more than I do.  
>  >>Please don’t mind me.
> 
> [Zen]: Are you refusing  
>  >>to listen to my voice?
> 
> [Jiho]:Oh, don’t be so  
>   dramatic haha. I thnk  
>  that your beauty sleep  
>   is also important,  
>  it’s all I’m saying.
> 
> [Zen]: Well, okay.  
>   If you say so.  
>  But don’t you  
>  think the same  
>   is applicable to  
>   you?
> 
> [Jiho]: Oh I’m not  
>  beautiful, there’s  
>   nothing to preserve.
> 
> [Zen]: Oh? Maybe you should  
>  >> send me a picture. That way  
>  >> I can corroborate your claims.
> 
> [Jiho]:Tempting, but I’ll have to  
>   take a raincheck on that.

“So it’s not a no?” Jiho reads, imagining his teasing tone despite never having heard his voice. He experiences a vague sense of horror at his inability to say no.

> [Jiho]: You got me wrapped around  
>   your finger, lovely Zen.

Jiho bit his thumb.

 Was he going overboard with his flirting? He hoped not.

> [Zen]: L-lovely? Jiho, you can’t go  
>   calling me nicknames and then  
>   claim that I’m the one in control.”

But Jiho wasn’t in control.

He was unprepared and in no time, Zen had irrevocably snatched his heart.

He’s the first.

 

 

* * *

 

It had been a whirlwind of dramatic romance.

Between exchanging correspondence with the eccentric potential guests, there were beautiful messages, lovely phone calls.

Zen was a complete sweetheart and a gentleman. Who, despite his gorgeous looks and narcissistic nature, was always so preoccupied with the RFA’s members and him too.

He was so nice.

The first phone call with him had been hilarious too.

Jiho answers as he was waking up and hears Zen flailing for five minutes straight over the fact that yes, Jiho was a man.

Jiho had laughed at him, but secretly was a bit disappointed by the fact that this probably meant that Zen would be discouraged from sending flirtatious messages.

He was wrong.

Zen still made him feel like the prince of his wildest dreams. He had never been too invested in the world of the celebrities, or actors, but he found himself learning all about them to support Zen.

Once he had managed to win Jaehee over, they had spent many nights just admiring him and praising his acting and looks and, let’s be real, his _body._

He had told her he didn’t want to pursue anything romantic with him, despite their endless flirting. Him being just a nobody and a man to top it off would do nothing but harm Zen’s growing career (although to be fair, he had several arguments with Jaehee over fame vs living a fulfilling life, because in his opinion Zen should not be looked down on for wanting to date). But he fully understood that it could affect his career regardless of what he thought, and he was just happy admiring him from afar.

But Zen was a romantic at heart.

Jiho surrendered himself eventually.

To the sweet morning calls, to the worried or protective messages. To the goodnight lullabies.

 

Jiho began daring to dream about a future with him.

 

And then the hacker appears again, and like a suppurating wound, the secrets of the RFA began filling his life, tainting his illusions, his hopes.

Jiho had tried taking refuge in his job, in his duty as the temporal party coordinator...

 

Life just thought he was one big joke.


	3. Chapter 3

The RFA members, he soon learns, have a sleeping schedule as bad as his own. It is his second night (already the start of the third day, more like it) in Rika’s apartment, having been convinced (rather easily) to stay there until Seven could make sure he was safe from the hacker. So he’s lying there, in his underwear on a stranger’s bed, with his hands behind his head as he stares at the darkened ceiling.

So this was his life now, huh.

 

What weird turns of fate.

 

He continues staring, waiting as he did each night, for exhaustion to claim him. To be able to have a dreamless sleep.

He is broken out of his meditative state by his phone ringing.

It’s Seven, according to the caller ID of the numbers he had added last day.

He picks up.

“Should I be concerned about your sleeping habits?” He says right after the call connects.

“Po-po-po-po. You have been called to warn you against a phone scam! Your credit card details have been compromised!”

Jiho squints at the ceiling above him. “…Seven it’s three in the morning, what the _fuck_.”

“To check the details of this scam you must tell me your phone number, please.” The voice on the other side of the line continues, tone serious and flat. Or at least it tried to be, but Jiho could hear the laughter bubbling inside Seven.

Jiho smiles despite himself. “You already have my number, hun. Nice try.”

He hears the other man finally lose it, and laugh on the other side. “Oh man! You are totally right!”

“Seven, are you usually up this late?”

“Hmm, yes. Sadly, the role of Defender of the world is incredibly taxing.”

Jiho is still unsure whether that’s a joke or a code for his actual work. He does as he always does. Shrugs and moves on. “Irregular sleeping schedules are bad for your continued health though. Be careful.”

“Hmm, I feel like this is something I should be telling you. You don’t sound sleepy, what are you doing up at this hour?”

“Ah, I…” Jiho pauses. He looks around himself. “Never had an easy time sleeping. And I guess sleeping in a stranger’s house isn’t helping matters.”

“You would be a weird creature if it were otherwise.” Seven says with a hum. “I hope you can find yourself at home though. If you’re really sure about helping us with the parties, you could consider this your permanent residence.”

“Oh, fuck. Don’t go dropping that on me at this hour.” Jiho says in a panicked tone. “I don’t think I could afford rent here for starters. I’m just helping out this one time. And also to make sure I don’t get mugged going back.”

“Oh, but you wouldn’t need to pay rent. V and I have been keeping that place spotless even though…”

When Seven doesn’t continue after a heartbeat, Jiho mumbles back. “ Since Rika disappeared.”

The tone of conversations is soberer now. Seven’s voice is quiet. “Yeah.”

Jiho has it on the tip of his tongue to ask again if they were sure he could stay in there. He considers it would be rude and doesn’t.

Instead he hums and says. “Well, I don’t think I can match up to her, but at least I can try making a worthwhile party.”

Silence.

Then a heartfelt, “thank you.”

The call is disconnected.

Jiho stares at his phone.

Seven…

Was a weird fellow.

 

 

* * *

Morning comes, and Jiho finally gets out of bed, as the rest of the world wakes up again. He takes a quick breakfast and decides to take a walk around the block, see if there were any job offers nearby. And by job offers he meant part-time, convenience store jobs. Anything else would be horrible.

Briefly he wonders if his previous boss could get him in trouble for just disappearing without saying anything. Then he remembers he basically fled his previous life without even cashing in his last paycheck, so he guesses he already paid back for that.

He takes his phone with him and answers some more emails while he’s out. And then promptly messaged Seven again, to see if he could finally get at least a tentative date for the party.

Jiho had nagged Seven nonstop for the past day, as he began running out of things to do, or excuses to tell his possible guests who had a busy enough schedule as it is.

“Seven, I can’t keep doing this, that romance novelist is threatening to cancel on me if she doesn’t hear about a date, and that banker guy already declined for the very same reasons!” He says during one of their calls, trying and failing to keep the mounting hysteria out of his voice. He breathes in briefly, trying to calm down. “Is there really no way to contact V?”

“I’ve been dialing nonstop, Jiho. He’s not receiving my calls…”

“Then can’t you go visit him? Or I don’t know, can’t you or someone else select the date for the party? Why does it have to be him?”

“…That is not how things work.”

Jiho doesn’t take pity on him. “Aren’t you lot supposed to be adults? Why do you need his permission anyway? Is he sponsoring this event?”

“We usually auction his pictures, the money for which goes towards the donations.” Seven says, and it sounds like a script. Flimsy. Desperate. “And a lot of our clients attend these parties just for him, he has to come.”

“We could get a good number of guests _anyway_ , if you could only set a date for the party!”

“Jiho, look!”

“Not now, Seven.” Jiho cuts him off, irritated and not in the mood for games.

“No, look at the chatroom! V’s on!”

Jiho hastily grabs the newer phone propped against his leg to stare at it dumbly. Seven was right.

“Fucking finally.” He says as he hangs up.

 

**Jiho has entered the chatroom**

**707 has entered the chatroom**

[Jiho]: V!  
[Jiho]: Finally we see you!

[707]: V! You’re on! Did you see my calls? Why didn’t you pick up?

[V]: Seven…

[V]: Jiho…

[V]: Hello  
[V]: I’m sorry for being absent. I’ve been busy and I haven’t had good coverage.

[Jiho]: But you can answer now, right?? The party guests have been getting desperate, we need a date for the Prty.

[V]: Yes, I’ve thought about it, and I think that since it’s Jiho’s first time as coordinator the party shouldn’t be too big. So I decided we should host it on November 11th.

[Jiho]: Finally a date! Thanks so much!

[707]: Wait;; Jiho… that’s in seven days.

[Jiho]: fuck

[707]: V don’t you think that’s too early? We won’t have any time to prepare

[Jiho]: fuck  
[Jiho]: no, I’m sorry  
[Jiho]: that’s too soon, I need to send so many emails, I am not even sure ifeveryone will be able to attend so soon

[707]: Jiho… calm down! I’m sure we can arrange everything! Right, v?

[V]: I’m sorry, I don’t think it can be later.

[707]: What do you mean by that?

[V]: Oh… I’m losing my signal.  
[V]: I need to go. Seven, Jiho I trust you with this party. Take care

[707]: Wait V you’re leaving?

[Jiho]: fuck wait I am not okay with this date

**V has left the chatroom**

[Jiho]: ………

[707]: Ah… he left.

[Jiho]: fuck

[707]: Jiho are you okay?

[Jiho]: what the fuck  
[Jiho]: seven days  
[Jiho]: seven goddamned days

[707]: Hey, you’ve been doing perfect so far, I’m sure that everything will be alright.

[Jiho]: got to go

**Jiho has left the chatroom**

[707]: We’ll help you so it’ll be fine, don’t worry

[707]:…. He left so soon.  
[707]: Ah… V what are you thinking…

**707 has left the chatroom**

Meanwhile, Jiho is cursing up a storm, tripping over himself to reach the desk computer which he hurries to boot up. As the fans whirl on, he runs back to the room and pulls out his own compiled guest information and he drops into the desk chair so violently he propels himself away from the desk.

He begins redacting a draft on the word processor program in the computer as soon as he logs in, making it vague enough that he could just copy it for each of his guests. They were going to hate him, ooh boy.

In that moment, he feels his phone ringing and Jiho wants nothing more than to toss it across the room, but when he glances down and sees it’s from Seven, he fiddles with it to put him on speaker.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, Jiho. Let me help you with the emails, most of them know V, so I’m pinning the blame on him. They know he’s whimsical on a good day so they might be more understanding.”

Jiho’s hands stop abruptly over the keyboard. He frowns at his error-ridden draft he was typing. Distantly, he frowns and thinks if he couldn’t have told him that five minutes ago.

He swallows his annoyance, and sags against the ergonomic chair. “Okay then. Do it, and send me a copy.”

“Already done!” Seven chirps happily with a couple keyboard smashing on his end. Jiho is still high-strung but he can’t help a small smile.

“Thanks.”

“No, no, it’s the least I can do, after…” Seven trails, an obvious grimace on his face all the way on his side of Korea.

Jiho stares at his phone. “Are you close with V?”

“Hm? Yeah, he’s helped me a lot.”

Jiho presses his calloused palm against the desk, feeling its grainy texture under his hand. “And has he always been this distant?”

“…”

Jiho feels a knot on his stomach at sensing the tumultuous past he was bringing up so tactlessly. “You don’t have to answer, if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s…” He sighs. “Well, Rika’s death affected him the most. Which is no wonder, seeing at how they were… engaged.”

Jiho cringed so hard he hit his knee against the desk. “Oh fu- I mean, I’m sorry to hear that… I didn’t know…”

Seven laughs. “Of course you didn’t know, that’s why I’m telling you!”

“Right.” Jiho tries coming with something to say, but while he comes up empty, he does feel like he has to ask. “Seven?”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“Do you happen to know what he’s doing nowadays?”

A loaded silence. “Oh? Are you perhaps interested in V?”

“… Just, he doesn’t sound like he’s all quite there. I might be butting in or whatever but, keep an eye on him.”

Seven sighs, tired and exhausted and it is a sound that resonates within Jiho.

“Yeah… I’ll try.”

Jiho purses his lips. Seven has been trying for so long, probably. With infuriating results, probably with him being as distant as right now.

“I might not be part of your crew, but if there’s anything I could do to help…”

“You helping us out with the party is already enough!” Seven says like he actually means it. “Oh, my boss is calling me, gotta split!”

Jiho stares at his phone with a vague sense of confusion. It was already late evening, why was his boss calling now?

Maybe it was a similar situation as with Jaehee and Jumin. Maybe he could ask in the chatroom later. Right now he needed to finish preparing for the rushed party.

 

He’s penalized with a higher cost, but he accepts the fanciest venue available one week from now, but they would provide the catering service and with that he could safely call the restaurant that would be providing the food and drinks, adding a couple non-allergenic options as well as some gluten-free and dairy free (the guest had insisted, despite Jiho mentioning there would also be fruit served). That said and done, the young man finally collapses on the bed, trembling and cold but knowing he had done his best. Now they just needed to wait.

The other phone pings and he opens the RFA app with a yawn. Jumin was on, as was Yoosung.

 

**Jiho has entered the chatroom**

[Yoosung★]: I can’t believe we’re really having this party!

[Jumin]: Yes, it is quite relieving that V could give us a date for the party.

[Yoosung★]: Rika would be so happy to hear we are finally holding her parties again.

[Jiho]: Hello

[Yoosung★]: Jiho! Thank you so much for joining this organization!

[Jumin]: Jiho, I trust everything has been dealt with already?

[Jiho]: Yeah… it was quite shocking how little time we have…

[Jumin]: Yes, it was quite irresponsible of V… I think I should have a word with him  
But you didn’t have any problems, I hope? I heard Seven would help you with the more… temperamental guests.

[Jiho]: Yeah he did. I think if you want to thank someone you’d better thank him. I would have just butchered everything up in my panic.

[Yoosung★]: Lolol don’t be so dramatic, you remind me so much of Rika, I knew you wouldn’t have any problems!

[Jiho]: …oh, uh thank?

Haha! You’re welcome!

[Jumin]: Anyway, please send my assistant all the party details as soon as they come out.

[Jiho]: Yes, it has already been forwarded to you, I think.

[Jumin]: Good  
get some rest, jiho. You need to be on your best performance for dealing with the guests.

[Jiho]: If you understand that, why don’t you ever let Jaehee rest, I wonder.

[Jumin]: This and that are completely different cases, I fail to understand why compare them.

[Jiho]: You’re really too much

[Yoosung★]: But he’s right! You’ve done a lot, you must be exhausted! Take a break, you deserve it!

[Jiho]: I’ve literally done nothing but sit down and send emails and take calls. Not that tiring.

[Yoosung★]: Hm? Then what will you be doing?

[Jiho]: …I don’t know. I should probably see if I can find a job soon.

[Yoosung★]: Ohh, are you looking for a part-time job??

[Jiho]: Yeah. Probably convenience store again. Nothing too exciting.

[Jumin]: If you would send your resume to assistant Kang, I could get you a job at C&R as a thank you for your efforts.

[Jiho]: what

[Yoosung★]: Oh that’s so nice of u, Jumin. Would you also take me in then???

[Jumin]: Of course, you are a hardworking teen, if you ever get yourself out of that videogame addiction, there’s a spot here with your name.

[Yoosung★]: Rlly??? Oh but I’m never escaping my LOLOL addiction;;;

[Jiho]: uh  
[Jiho]: I … have to go

[Jiho]: a guest is calling  
[Jiho]: yeah, bye

**Jiho has left the chatroom**

 

Well that had been horrible. Jiho feels his face burning up with embarrassment as he physically runs away from his phone in an attempt of forgetting his lack of social skills.

Besides…

Jumin didn’t really know him.

Jiho really wasn’t suited for a better job.

He was a failure after all.

 

¿

* * *

Jiho receives his first rejection email, because he had a bad color sense or whatever, and the Lady of the Workbaskets had considered that a good enough reason to decline the invitation. True to his nature, Jiho immediately panics.

He’s not sure who to call, disappointed in himself and not wanting to be a nuisance for the others.

Surely this was one person only, right?

Rui had already said he’d go.

And surely the rest of the RFA member could suggest enough clients to cover up for Jiho’s blunders?

Jiho skips his meals out of sheer anxiety as he made sure to research each client even further before engaging. Seven had mentioned Rika had had information on past clients in her apartment, maybe he could see it if he played his cards correctly.

 

As such, that days ends without having left his chair at the kitchen table, his computer abuzz and the fans whirling tiredly.

He heads to bed at three AM and hopes he can sleep through the morning at least.

At five AM, however, his phone sets off with activity.

[Zen]: Jiho

[Zen]: Jiho

[Zen]: come on

[Zen]: log in

[Yoosung★]: Zen why are you spamming the chat

[Zen]: I

[Zen]: have

[Zen]: incredible

[Zen]: news!

[Yoosung★]: really???

[Zen]: yes

[Zen]: but I want jiho to be the first to hear them!

**Jiho has entered the chat**

[Jiho]: Who dares summon me at 5am

[Zen]: JIHO

[Jiho]: Hello, lovely Zen

[Yoosung★]: what are the news?

[Zen]: I HAVE BEEN INVITED TO PERFORM WITH ECHO GIRL!

Jiho jackknives into a sitting position, as excitement overcomes him – truly a strange sentiment.

[Jiho]: ZEN WTF THAT’S AMAZING!

[Zen]: I KNOW!

[Yoosung★]: OMG Echo Girl as in _the Echo Girl??_

[Zen]: YES!

[Yoosung★]: omg I’m her fan!! You have to get her autograph for me!

[Zen]: Whaat, you want hers but not mine?

**707 has entered the chatroom.**

[707]: lololol Yoosung you should get his autograph now that it’s worth nothing and sell it when he makes the big screen! Easiest way to make thousands!

[Jiho]: Is that all you’re going to say about it, Seven?

[707]: Of course! Not! I’m also happy for Zen!

[Zen]: It’s okay, Jiho I don’t need the support of _men_.

Jiho:… ok then bye

[707]: burn

[Yoosung★]: burn

[Zen]: crap, not again, I’m sorry!! _Jiho wait!_

[Jiho]: lmao I’m joking. Mostly.

[Zen]: it’s just that you’re different from the gross Seven. You write cute, you talk cute. And you don’t bring cats into the conversation. Of course I would be happy to receive your support!

[Zen]: Jiho??

[Jiho]: Yes, lovely Zen?

[Zen]: oh, I thought you were angry at me ^^;

[Jiho]: hmmph, just promise me you’ll try to remember I’m a man.

[707]: All of this fight could have been avoided with a selfie.

[Jiho]: I don’t do selfies.

[Yoosung★]: Why don’t you send us a picture of him, Seven?? You know what he looks like already!

[707]: Non non, mon ami. That is a breach in privacy I cannot allow.

[Jiho]: Damn right you won’t. ANYWAY  
[Jiho]: Back to the important stuff! Zen hadn’t you already gotten a new role? What are you going to do about it!

[Zen]: I already talked with my director, and gave it to another friend of mine! There’s no way I’m turning down this amazing offer!

[707]: It’s nice to see all of your effort being rewarded.

[Zen]: Thanks!

[Yoosung★]: Wow, all those years of practicing are finally paying off. Ahhh, Rika would be so proud of u.

[Jiho]: cheer up, I’m sure she’s watching from wherever she is.   
[Jiho]: We’re all proud of you for whatever it counts.

[707]: OMG  
[707]: Just wait for Jaehee to hear about it  
[707]: The chatroom will implode

[ZEN]: Don’t be silly, there’s no way she’d be that excited for this

[707]: Press f to show respect for Jaehee  
[707]: f

[Yoosung★]: f

[Jiho]: Honestly?   
[Jiho]: f

[ZEN]: ??? what are you on about

**Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom.**

[707]: Talk about the devil!

[Jaehee]: Hello, good morning to everyone. It is surprising to find this chatroom so active this early in the morning…

[Yoosung★]: Jaehee!

[707]: Wait don’t tell her

[Yoosung★]: Theres  
[Yoosung★]:what?? Why?

[707]: jaehee~  
[707]: scroll up~  
[707]: u might find something interesting

[Jaehee]: ??

[Jaehee]: OMBGFT#UID VTHV  
[Jaehee]: %&y$”vxVBFVBt

[Jiho]: ????

[Yoosung★]: Jaehee are u okay

[707]: omg we broke Jaehee

[Jiho]: don’t be rude

[Yoosung★]: um Jaehee is everything alright?

[Jaehee]: Oh, yes. I’m sorry I  
[Jaehee]: Well anyway, Zen this is all thanks to your relentless hardwork and your amazing talent and [Jaehee]: I’m so porud of you for reaching this point

[ZEN]: ^^you flatter me

[Jaehee]: Although…

[Jaehee]: Echo Girl is just a singer  
[Jaehee]: I would much rather see you up there with a true actress.

[ZEN]: That would be the best thing to happen but, I’m not popular enough right now;;

[Jaehee]: You will be, I’m sure

[ZEN]: ^^ thanks

[Jiho]: I agree with you, but right now Echo Girl is so popular! I’m sure this is just the beginning of his grand debut

[ZEN]: Haha! My debut already happened, but I too hope greater opportunities will come after this!  
[ZEN]: And I hope you’ll be right by my side when that happens

Jiho is so glad this was not a face-to-face conversation, as his face heats up enough for the blush to be visible. He tries reminding himself that the other man is probably only joking, so he allows himself to type back.

[Jiho]: as long as you want me

 

Zen responds to that comment with more hearts and flirty messages that stress Jaehee out, Yoosung just says he’s jealous before congratulating Zen again in a clear attempt to change topics before something happened to Jaehee.

While this happens, Jiho can’t help but re-read his last message and feel himself crumbling.

Yes.

He was going to be there until they didn’t want him.

And then what was he going to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being Jiho is certainly suffering.
> 
> lmao I have 25k worth of content already written, but somehow, not the next chapter? idk
> 
> Thoughts?


	4. Chapter 4

“Heyo, homeboy, how is it going?” Jiho smiles, phone in his left as he uses the other to push his way out of the store.

“Seven!” He exclaims, for once not caring what people would think about him shouting seemingly random numbers into his phone. “I got a job! I did it! I wasn’t a complete failure and I’m getting hired!”

Seven oohs, and aahs and shouts his encouragement and just sounds so positive that Jiho feels like crying. Instead he just laughs.

“You sound almost more excited than me. But yeah, that happened. And Zen is going to be up on stage with you-know-who and I just think that life is not pointless for once.” Jiho laughs. “What about you? Actually, god I’m sorry, what were you calling about?” Landing abruptly back on earth, he can feel his cheeks darken at the way he had just ignored Seven while he babbled about his useless self.

Seven laughs again and it sounds light and sincere. “No, don’t apologize. It’s pretty nice seeing you so enthusiastic for once. You’re cute like this.”

This takes Jiho off-kilter, so of course he trips over his own two feet. He curses as he regains himself before he plummets face-first onto the busy street.

“Are you okay!? Did you trip?! Is everything-!?” Seven is saying, as soon as he returns to reality. He sounds panicked for some reason.

Jiho squints.

“You’re not spying on me, are you?”

“Wh-what?”

Jiho grins. “You said that it was nice “seeing” me, and that I looked cute, should I be concerned?”

“Are… oh my god, you’re joking? You are! Oh my god! This is a momentous occasion indeed! I, God Seven, hereby declare this day… uhhh Jiho’s coming of age!”

“Bullshit. I came of age, a couple years back.” Jiho shoots back, as he sobered up. “And like, I was an emancipated minor, so it’s been a while since…”

Silence.

“Just so you know, I didn’t know about this.” Seven says, voice soft and kind and Jiho almost forgets that he’s trying to make it sound like a joke and not like his life had come apart when he was twelve.

“That’s actually a relief.” The lonely boy clears his throat. “Anyway, uh, you can’t name it that. Wanna brainstorm?”

From Seven’s side of the line came some muffled sounds like someone pounding on a door, desperate, angry, someone shouting, angry, angry.

Doing what he knew best, Jiho presses a hand against his mouth and crouches in the middle of the side-walk, trying to make himself look smaller.

“Oh, no!” Seven says, his cheerful voice jarring as it reached Jiho’s sensitive ears. “Seems like I locked my maid outside! I need to let Miss Vanderwood in, forgive me, dear disciple of mine!”

Maid?

“S-sure, uh, go on.”

“Jiho? Is everything okay?”

“Huh-? Oh yeah, I just, almost tripped again. Anyway, I probably should hang up anyway so I stop tripping haha.” He tries laughing, but his voice can barely get through the knot in his throat. The banging has subsided, and for a moment there is blissful silence on both ends of the phone call.

“Hmm, just log into the chatroom when you get there, let us know you’re back.”

“You literally have cameras outside. I don’t actually have to-“

“Yeah, but isn’t it nicer to be welcomed home?”

Jiho hangs up.

 

* * *

Yoosung logs into the messenger after Jiho takes a deliciously warm shower. He was crying that he failed another exam due to his obsession with LOLOL, and while the rest of the RFA members each give him their own opinions and advices –which more or less amounted to ‘stop playing and get to study already’– Jiho just read the messages, feeling void.

Yoosung was his age, wasn’t he?

If things had gone right, maybe he’d be like him. Complaining about homework, maybe playing games. Returning home to a loving family.

Jiho exhales, frustrated with himself.

He wasn’t about to get jealous over something this dumb. Everyone had hardships, everyone had problems. And hey, maybe Yoosung could pull himself together with the proper encouragement. Isn’t that what everyone deserved at least?

He focuses back on the chat in time to see a picture of a dark-haired teen, primly dressed in a suit and hugging a long-haired blonde, both of them smiling at the camera.

Jiho squinted.

 

[JIho]: Is that you, Yoosung?

[Yoosung★]: It is! And that’s my cousin Rika! Isn’t she beautiful?

[JIho]: yeah, she’s pretty  
[JIho]: It’s weird seeing you with dark hair.

[Zen]: He looks really different, right?

[Yoosung★] uwaa are you also going to laugh at me for bleaching my hair?

[JIho]: What no  
[JIho]: I’m just used to seeing you with blond hair, but you look good either way

[Yoosung★]: wait, really??? Do you think im handsome??

[Zen]: you have good bone structure, if you’d only take care of your skin, you’d probably be handsome

[Yoosung★]: somehow that sounds cheap coming from you

[Zen]: what!? Why!?

[Jiho]: because you’re so handsome, the word stops meaning anything to anyone else

[Jaehee]:  I agree. There is no mortal that can compare to your looks, Zen.

[Zen]: you’re both so nice! Hey do you want to hear about my skincare routine?

[Jaehee]:  Please do!

[Jiho]:um

[Yoosung★]: lolol, zen u narcissist. Anyway, LOLOL is calling me, ttyl  


**Yoosung has left the chatroom**

 

[JIho]: I mean, I’d love to but, maybe later?  
[JIho]: oh, he left

[Zen]: he is like that, that boy just doesn’t understand when to tone it down

[Jaehee]:  agreed, it would be great if he could stop playing so many games, but he just doesn’t listen.

[JIho]: I didn’t know Rika was his cousin

[Zen]: yeah, they don’t really look alike, right?  
[Zen]: I remember he used to follow her like a lost puppy, it was so cute to see

[Jaehee]:  he also used to be so diligent and such a model student, I wonder what happened to him.

[JIho]: …couldn’t he just be  
[JIho]: sad?

[Jaehee]:  but he cant be moping around and wasting his parent’s money like this. He needs to get his life together

[JIho]: I guess

[Zen]: so cute to see you worry about our Yoosung, Jiho. Maybe you can understand him because you’re the closest in age

[Jaehee]:  really? How old are you, Jiho?

[JIho]: um

[JIho]: 22

[Zen]: OH! I was right! You’re so cute Jiho, I’m 24

[Jaehee]:  curious, I had always pegged you for being older, apologies

[JIho]: it’s cool  
[JIho]: older, huh  
[JIho]: sometimes it feels like that

[Jaehee]:  You better enjoy your youth while it lasts, once you begin to work, your life just disappears

[Zen]: which is why you should do what you love, dreams can be achieved if you try hard enough

[JIho]: i  
[JIho]: yeah, im glad things worked out for you

[Zen]: J you flatter me!

[Jaehee]:  I must agree, it is truly wonderful to see all of your hard work paying off, Zen

[Zen]: thank you!   
[Zen]: but, to tell the truth, Yoosung has never listened to what we say  
[Zen]: Jiho, do you have any suggestions? He really used to be such a good kid

[JIho]:um, well I don’t know him as good as you do but  
[JIho]: maybe give him some space?  
[JIho]: like if he comes here to complain, just listen? He’s already heard all of your advice many times, probably

[Jaehee]:  but then how is he going to get his life together?

[JIho]: honestly I wouldn’t know  
[JIho]: but like, he looks burdened  
[JIho]: if this happened after Rika, maybe he just hasn’t had time to heal

[Jaehee]:  do you think it would do him good to have his mother visit him?

[JIho]: idk  
[JIho]: maybe  
[JIho]: I have to go now

[Jaehee]:  likewise, work just keeps piling up, goodbye, Jiho, Zen.

[Zen]: yeah, I have rehearsal today, wish me luck!

**Jaehee has left the chatroom**

**Zen has left the chatroom**

**Jiho has left the chatroom**

 

* * *

The lonely boy in the empty apartment sighed, exhausted and spent. He didn’t know Yoosung well enough, but he seemed to be well loved by the RFA members. He really hoped he could get the help he needs.

He squashes the tiny voice that asks, _but why didn’t I?_

Yoosung was a good kid, he deserved it.

 

He gets a message.

> [Zen]: thanks for saying that about yoosung
> 
> [Zen]: I’ll try to keep it in mind

 

> [Zen]: it’s just frustrating, remembering how he was, and how he is now
> 
> Zen]: but maybe we just needed a fresh pair of eyes for this

 

> [Zen]: and you too

 

> [Zen]: if there’s anything we can do for you, don’t hesitate to ask

 

> [Zen]: god knows you’re already doing so much for us

 

 

Jiho’s so surprised he feels a smile pulling at his lips.

It was alright. He was doing alright. He got a job, he’s helping with a charity and he’s maybe helping them talk to each other properly.

He was doing alright.

He wasn’t useless.

(For now).

 

* * *

His good mood is threatened again as he receives two more rejection letters because the date was too soon, and it just didn’t align with their calendar.

Seven had promised him that Jumin would send them a gift basket as an apology for the inconvenience, but still Jiho felt absolutely horrible and he could feel the anxiety souring up his stomach.

If only he had tried harder to get a confirmation date. Or if he had been less ambiguous as to when it could have been set…

Somehow it is Zen who manages to cheer him up, yet again. He kept messaging him, and only him, talking about his day, sending selfies and asking for Jiho’s, telling him about the rehearsals, how cute Echo Girl was, and that he hadn’t expected her to be his fan.

Jiho listens and asks and enjoys the enthusiasm Zen has for life.

He might have been too worried to eat again, but at least he didn’t go to bed feeling as anxious.

So of course, it is at 2AM, when he’s still staring at his darkened ceiling and wondering when was he going to sleep, that his phone pings again.

 

[Yoosung★]: who the hell told my MOTHER to come???

[Yoosung★]: shes coming over tomorrow, without warning, or anything and I don’t have the time to clean up my apartment, I hate all of you

[Yoosung★]: bunch of snitches

 

**Jiho has entered the chatroom.**

 

[Jiho]: is everything alright

[Yoosung★]: oh hey, sorry about that

[Jiho]: Youre not mad at me as well?

[Yoosung★]:Lmao you don’t even know my mother, there’s no way it could have been you

[Jiho]: What happened tho? I don’t understand

[Yoosung★]:That _someone_ here told my mother that I was spending too much time playing games, and not studying and I have minus time to clean up because she’s coming over

[Yoosung★]:（╬ಠ益ಠ)

[Yoosung★]:（╬ಠ益ಠ)

[Yoosung★]:（╬ಠ益ಠ)

[Jiho]: Um  
[Jiho]: Is that a bad thing?

[Jiho]: Do you not get along with your mother?

[Yoosung★]: Aw, come one Jihoo, you’re close to me in age, I thought…

[Yoosung★]: I thought at least you would understand… ahh I guess I was just being ridiculous in hoping for that.

[Yoosung★]:  [Jiho]: Im sorry

It’s alright… I’m just… tired and angry

[Jiho]: So you don’t get along with her?

[Yoosung★]: It’s not that

[Yoosung★]: It’s that, she has no business butting in on my life and neither does whoever snitched on me. It’s not like I am a child anymore.

[Jiho]: Idk

[Jiho]: From what I understand, whoever did it was just trying to help

[Yoosung★]: How Is this of any help?!?!

[Jiho]: Well to be honest, it may do you well to have her around. Help you tidy up, and maybe cook for you while you get yourself together?

[Yoosung★]: Ugh you’re sounding like Jaehee, I thought you would understand me

[Yoosung★]: At least you…

[Jiho]: Im sorry

[Yoosung★]: Hey but

[Yoosung★]: How would you feel if your mom suddenly decided to visit out of the blue?? Wouldn’t you be annoyed as well?

[Yoosung★]: …jiho? Did u fall asleep?

[JIho]:  I’d be terrified

[Yoosung★]: See??? It’s not a good thing at all!

[Yoosung★]: …

[Yoosung★]: Jiho?

[Yoosung★]: Did u fall asleep now?

[Yoosung★]: …

[Yoosung★]: Wait

[Yoosung★]: Did you mean that literally

[Yoosung★]: Jiho, did u mean that literally

[Yoosung★]: Are you okay?????

[JIho]:  Im fine

[JIho]:  Long story

[JIho]:  Um  
[JIho]:  I should go

[JIho]:  Good luck with your ma

**Jiho has left the chatroom.**

 

Stupid Yoosung.

Stupid Jiho.

Stupid, useless Jiho.

The tired man dropped his phone onto his bed and tried not to think, even as tears trickled down the sides of his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I rename this to catharsis lmao  
> So yeah, Jiho has a sad backstoryTM as well.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of bullshit has happened recently. So this one got written out, because it's my stress-relief.
> 
> Jiho's still suffering lmfao, enjoy?

Jiho was contemplating if he could force his body to collapse for a couple more hours of unconsciousness when his phone rings at 6AM sharp.

It’s Zen.

“Huh, you picked up right away!”

“Anything for my favorite superstar.” Jiho says and he’s surprised by how easy the words flow. Zen doesn’t seem too surprised as he laughs, and accepts the compliments.

“You’re so silly, Jiho.” Zen says, sighing contently. “But how do you always have such nice things to say?” An overdramatic gasp, “don’t tell me, do you flirt like this with everyone?!”

Jiho has it on the tip of his tongue. He could say yes, and evade any possible problems of maybe leading him on.

But he can’t bring himself to do that.

“Honestly I’ve never flirted with anyone in years.”

There’s a bit of silence, and Jiho wants the earth to swallow him whole. He’s ready to hang up when the other man finally replies.

“So am I really the only one for you?” He says and it’s as much as a tease as any. But maybe, there is fondness in his voice.

“I-um, I guess. I guess you are.” Jiho stammers, too surprised to find a proper way to reply to that. He immediately regrets everything, but Zen doesn’t break out laughing so he takes it as a win.

“Aw, you’re so cute.” Zen coos, but his tone is light-hearted. He clears his throat. “Okay, as much as I love hearing about how special I am to you, this is not what I called you for.”

“Are you sure?” Jiho feels himself asking, and tries to ignore the blush crawling up his cheeks.

Zen laughs.

“Yeah! Although it’s a very nice plus! Oh right, sorry for calling you so early. I hope I didn’t wake you up.” Zen says, suddenly abashed and although he had crushed Jiho’s (literal) dreams to sleep more than four hours Jiho couldn’t help but assure him he had been awake anyway. “Okay so, apparently someone called his mother last night and she will be coming over either today or tomorrow so our Yoosung is panicky.”

“Yeah, I know. We talked last night on the chatroom.” Jiho answers, curious as to why Zen had brought it up. “Didn’t you see it?”

“Hm, no, I haven’t had time. And Yoosung has called me no less than five times since I woke up. I understand he’s upset but, five times?! If he were a girl I wouldn’t mind, but why would I be happy receiving five calls from a dude?!”

“What about calls from me?” Jiho asks and regrets immediately. He was thinking of making a joke about his gender but somehow it all came sounding wrong. “Sorry, never mind.”

“A call from you?” Zen says, voice a bit breathy and light. “Oh man, I would be so happy. You’re always so nice to me, and you have a very soothing voice. And a calm personality.” Zen nods so vigorously Jiho can practically see it. “Hm-hm, yes I wouldn’t mind receiving a call from you at all.”

“O-oh, I- uh, how does this relate back to Yoosung though?” Jiho asks, in a clear attempt at diverting the attention.

“Oh right!” Zen laughs. “I keep getting distracted by you. Yeah, so he’s been calling me nonstop to complain and whatnot, but he’s also trying to rope me into some weird scheme of his to fake an emergency so he wouldn’t be home when she arrived. Which is honestly really dumb. I bet she has a spare key anyway, not to mention she would like to go help out this supposed emergency.”

“That’s… an elaborate lie. He really doesn’t want to see his mother, huh?”

“He’s nervous, that’s what.” Zen replies without any sympathy. “Like, I wouldn’t snitch him out, but whoever did it probably did Yoosung a favor. His living conditions were so terrible; he was barely eating anything other than instant noodles. The other day he told us how something moldy had come to life under his bed. Ugh, I’m getting the creeps just remembering it.”

“Oh yeah, I remember.” Jiho says, sighing in defeat. “I’m not sure why he’s angry. He clearly doesn’t have a clue on how to live on his own. Surely…”

“Yeah, I get what you mean. But I guess this comes because Yoosung wasn’t always like this.” Zen explains. “He was a very hardworking student, was in several clubs and activities. The Yoosung from then wouldn’t need anyone babying him.”

“It’s kind of hard to imagine Yoosung being like that.” Jiho says, bluntly. “And do you think this is because of his cousin? Did they get along that well?”

“Rika… was like a sun to us. We all somehow gravitated around her. She- she helped all of us, in very big ways. She was one of my fans way back, when I was barely starting. She introduced me to V, and other people. She invited me to the RFA and I’ve never regretted saying yes.” He sighs, “if that’s how I feel, imagine how much more it must have hurt Yoosung to lose her to… to suicide.”

“Shit,” Jiho says on reflex. “I am so sorry to hear that, I didn’t- I didn’t know. Um, I’m sorry for bringing up painful memories. That was insensitive of me.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine! It’s been four years already. It hurts but, well… there’s only so long you can be sad about something.” Zen sighs. “And I’m not saying it’s going to be immediate but hey, at least he’ll have warm food and a clean house to get his shit together.”

Jealousy rears its head and makes Jiho open his mouth, but he’s not sure what he would say anyway, so he remains silent.

He’s not sure if Zen notices, or if him clearing his throat is just a coincidence. Probably the latter. Then he adds, “So, yeah, if Yoosung tries calling you, and getting you involved in some dumb scheme don’t hesitate to say no. If he insists or whatever, you can tell him that hmm… oh yeah, tell him you’re going on a date with me, that should get him off your case.”

Jiho finds that notion so silly, he can’t help but laugh. “Oh, right. Of course he would believe that!”

“What!?” Zen gasps, so exaggerated it’s obviously fake. “Is it not possible for me to date you? Are you that out of my league?”

“I-what?”

“I would have thought, I at least had a shot with-“

“Um, excuse me, who are we talking about again?” Jiho cuts him up, more confused than he is annoyed.

“About you, cutie.” Zen replies, and his voice is low and husky and _too near_. Jiho shrinks into himself.

“Oh, oh wow. Uh, you flatter me, but…” Jiho fails to come up with something witty, as he trails into awkward silence. He tries again. “I thought this call was about Yoosung, stop joking around.”

“Alright, okay.” Zen says, but he sounds kind of dejected for some reason. “Just one question, you really wouldn’t date me, if you ever had the chance?”

“Uhhhh….” Jiho eloquently says, before he catches himself. “I mean, of course not. You can do so much better. Also, need I remind you that I am a man?” He chuckles. “You really should get yourself a girlfriend soon, you’re starting to daydream too much.”

“Yeah…” Zen replies, sounding sullen.

“Zen? Is everything okay? I’m sorry, did I offend you?”

“No of course not, Jiho. Don’t worry about it. I’m,” he sighs. “Just a little worried, is all.”

“Oh, well. If there’s anyway I could help, then…”

“You could, actually.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t sell yourself so short.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Listen, I really have to go. I have to get to rehearsal, the musical with Echo Girl is right around the corner.” Zen says in a single breath, every word reeking of regret.  Somehow Jiho wants nothing but to reassure him, to make sure he’s fine. “We’ll talk later, yeah?”

“Ye-yeah, yes. Anytime. I’ll, uh… keep Yoosung in mind.” But Jiho’s wounds go a little deeper, a little more than even he realizes.

They would both need time.

Ironic, how some things go.

 

* * *

Jiho brings the second phone to his new job, in case anything else occurred. He refreshed his knowledge about the store, and about handling customers and set off to work.

He steals glances at the chatroom whenever he had time, half-amazed on how much like a Cinderella story, Yoosung’s experience seemed to be panning out. His mother made him clean up his own shit, for which Yoosung complained, then his behavior experienced a one-eighty when she made food for him. Then his mother caught him on the phone and he’s been radio-silent since.

 

The second he’s let out, Seven messages him, congratulating him on his first day at work. Jiho decides it could have been worse and just accepted the fact that Seven _would know shit,_ no matter how hard Jiho tried to stop him.

It doesn’t seem like it’s going to harm him anytime soon.

 

* * *

When he arrives at his apartment it’s to more messages, this time from Jaehee, complaining about having to work overtime and explaining why. Jiho is not completely sure why this is happening, or how any of it made any sense but there had been a scandal with a small business, a marriage proposal, and Jumin being accused of being gay.

Or at least, Jiho assumed that was the order of events– Jaehee’s complaints hadn’t been exactly linear and he wasn’t going to interrupt her for such trivialities.

Seven appeared again, laughing a lot and posting a picture of the news. Even Jiho couldn’t help it when the header read: “Does Jumin Han is gay?”

[Jiho]: The media just doesn’t seem to have anything better to do, right?

[707]: Right you are, my friend! I mean, they’re so fun to manipulate so I guess I shouldn’t be saying anything lolol

[Jaehee]: if you’re just going to laugh at this situation, then kindly refrain. Mr. Han could appear at any moment, and honestly I haven’t seen him this stressed out in a long time.

[Jiho]: right, sorry. Is there anything we could do to help?

[Jaehee]: Thank you for the offer, but I don’t think so. Mr. Han has already left work and is probably locked in his house with Elizabeth and wine T-T I wish that could be me

[707]: OMG you wish to be Elizabeth, I always knew it!

[Jaehee]: don’t be stupid, I meant I wish I could be home, enjoying a glass of wine instead of being here, putting out fires.

[Jiho]: I’m sorry you have to put up with that… but doesn’t every company have PR … things? Like people in charge of dealing with these sort of things?

[Jaehee]: Yes, normally it wouldn’t be my job, but this whole situation occurred because Mr. Han had a disagreement with his father, the current CEO… So he’s refusing to use any assets from the company.

[707]: Aren’t you also…?

[Jaehee]: ^^ is there something you’d like to tell **everyone** here?

[707]: No;; nevermind  
[707]: actually, do you want me to handle this? I’m sure I could spread different news to stop the rumors… at least the current ones

[Jaehee]: thank you, I’m sure we will request your services soon enough, but right now it’s Mr. Han who has to publicly denounce those calumnious women.

[707]: sure! Jiho want to help?

[Jiho]: um, sure but how?

[707]: Nothing much, just try calling Jumin, maybe? Between us, you and Yoosung are the most likely to actually be able to speak to Jumin. And Yoosung’s currently busy LOL

[Jiho]: Well, I mean, I can try.

[707]: and that’s more than enough!

[Jaehee]: I would appreciate it very much, Jiho. And maybe you can convince him to show again at the office…

[Jiho]: Shouldn’t you continue work, y’know, tomorrow? You should rest too, Jaehee

[Jaehee]: Thank you for your concern but I have a lot of things to do before leaving. I don’t want to leave and cause a massive problem that I could have avoided all together.

[Jiho]: Just… take care of yourself then

[Jaehee]: ^^ I will

[Jiho]: ok then, um I’ll be leaving first

**Jiho has left the chatroom**

 

Jiho stared at his borrowed phone, nervous and jittery. He had agreed to a stupid thing, and now he had no idea what to do or say.

So he decides to make it Seven’s problem.

 

> [Jiho]: Hi. Um, I know I said I’d do it, but what do I even say?

 

> [707]: LOL
> 
> [707]: Ok, you can ask how he’s doing and just listen to him, be nice? Oh! Talk about Eli! <3

 

> [Jiho]: ok, should I try convincing him to go to work as well?

 

> [707]: only if you can, we all know he’s a troublesome man. Oh also, you might need to apologize to Zen

 

> [Jiho]: To Zen? What for?

 

> [707]: lmfao im sure that he’ll die out of jealousy once he reads the messages.

 

> [Jiho]: Why tho? And it’s not like he reads backlog?

 

> [707]: Oh, nice catch! I’ll make sure he does, then!

 

> [Jiho]: ?? should I be worried?

 

> [707]: Naaahhhh

 

> [Jiho]: Please don’t do anything weird, Seven

 

> [707]: I’ll try, but no promises!

 

He was a little concerned. But right now he had a mission to accomplish.

He looked up Jumin’s contact info, took in a deep breath and hit Call.

 

“H-hello?” Stammering on the first line, what a great start. There was silence that he prayed was just Jumin being surprised and waited.

“…Yes, hello, Jiho. Is there anything I can help you with?” Jumin said, defaulting to his polite, customer-service tone.

“Uh, yeah. Um, I was just wondering if you’re okay?” Hi, my name is Jiho and I have the emotional maturity of a five-year-old.

“I’m… Yes, I would say I’m fine.” He says, voice a little off. There’s some rustling and Jiho can hear how he’s drinking something. Probably wine. “Is this all?”

“I-uh, no!” He decided to throw caution to the air and before he lost all courage he said. “Also, I hope you know that nobody who cares about you will think bad of you, whether you like girls or boys, and the media is stupid and ridiculous for trying to make news about that.”

More agonizing silence.

“…Thank you. It does mean a lot, to hear that.” Jumin’s voice was softer. The softest Jiho had ever heard. There’s another pause, but he would bet his newest shirt that he hadn’t drunk again. “May I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“With how much you and Zen flirt in the chatrooms, I’m guessing you’re not, against the idea, but I fear I must be direct. Are you gay?”

“I, um.” Jiho blushes so hard, he feels light-headed. “I’ve never thought about that? Gender has never been important to me? I mean, I haven’t had the chance to date anyone, but yeah… um, are, are you gay, Jumin?” Jiho felt like he was prying too much but it just seemed right to ask.

For one second, there was nerve-wracking silence. Then,

“I think I might be.”

“O-oh, it’s okay if you’re still discovering it!” Jiho immediately says, pulling a face because how cliché and ridiculous those words were. “Um, and I’m guessing you haven’t come out to anyone, right? That’s why you’re so upset with your dad, right?”

“I suppose, yes. But it is also because he shouldn’t be forcing people on me. Especially, these money-mongers that only know about throwing fits, and fooling old men.”

Jiho cringed– it wasn’t at all relatable, but it did sound horrible. “That’s awful. But maybe you should consider talking with your father? Or do you think he might not take it well?”

“I am not sure. I… I need to consider this new idea.” Jumin said, voice dwindling to a silence. Jiho was suddenly aware that he probably had just thrown this man’s world into disarray. Coming out, for whatever reason was always life changing, and incredibly upsetting no matter the result.

Or so he had heard.

He had never had the chance to consider that before he was kicked out. Different reasons, same outcome.

Jiho shook himself like a dog, to get rid of such thoughts. “It’s cool. Take as long as you like, but if there’s anything I, or the other members can do to help, or even if just to vent, we’re here for you.”

“I don’t suppose Yoosung would quite agree with you.”

“What? What do you-?” The realization came with Jumin’s quiet laughter. “Oh my goodness, it was you.”

“Yes, I got in contact with Ms. Kim.”

“Oh wow, someone’s going to be pissed at you.” Jiho can’t help but say, before he added. “But it’s obviously done him good. Thanks for doing that.”

“Hmm,” somehow, the frigid C&R heir makes the hum sound both surprised and pleased. “Jiho?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”


	6. Chapter 6

Next morning, Jiho begins to get suspicious as he receives yet another call from Zen.

As it turns out, Zen did actually get mad.

“Good morning, lovely Zen.” Jiho says, stifling a yawn.

“I-! Good morning, Jiho. I hope you had a good night’s rest.”

He smiles to himself. “Yeah, how about you?”

Zen cuts himself off as he mumbles. “I slept fine, but I’m... not happy with what happened yesterday.”

“Yesterday? Did something happen at rehearsal?”

“No! I mean, thanks for asking…” Zen says, voice pouty. “I mean about Jumin.”

Jiho rubbed his eyes, wondering if his sleep deprivation was finally making him lose it. “What about him?”

“…What did you two talk about?”

“Hm, I can’t really tell you that. I don’t think it would be polite.”

“You should have just let him be. With how he’s treating Yoosung like a kid, you would think that he could recognize the symptoms looking into a mirror.”

Jiho frowns, “that was uncalled for.” He whispered.

“What? I’m just telling the truth.”

“Well, Yoosung really seems to be beneficiating from having his mother over. I didn’t see you helping him out with his depression.”

“J-Jiho?” Zen stammers, there’ some shifting as if he was changing hands to press the phone against his cheek. “Are you mad?”

This surprises him. “Of course I’m not. I could never be angry at you.”

“That’s… relieving. Um, sorry. Jumin always manages to get me all riled up, I was just a little jealous he got your attention. Even shared a phone call with you.”

“What are you talking about? He’s also a member of the RFA, I talk with all of you. Besides, just like Yoosung, Jumin too was in a dark place. I’m not even sure my call helped. I just listened to him.” Jiho confesses, one arm going around his torso. “He needed someone to just listen to his problems. And it’s not like I like him better than you. Uh-” Jiho, you dumb shit.

“Wait,” He can practically feel his smile through the phone. “Did you just say you like me?”

“Uhhh, I… maybe?” He says, hoping that he’s not overstepping their friendship, and digging his own grave.

“Can I ask you why do you like me?”

“Oh wow, uh.” Jiho blushes, and holds his phone with two hands in case it slipped. “Are you- are you really asking me that?”

“Yeah.”

Simple, blunt. He was serious.

“But what- what about Jumin?”

“Who cares about Jumin? As long as he’s not the man your heart belongs to then I don’t think I care. So? What is it you like about me?”

“I, um. I’ve never been asked this. Sorry if I’m… a bit awkward.” Jiho says as he tries making a mental list. “Okay well, of course I love your physique. You are a very handsome man. And like, you own it. You know you are handsome as hell, and you’re not embarrassed to say so. Which, I think is hot. And like you could take advantage of that and just become a model or something, but you have a dream. You- you have something; a-a goal you strive for. I’m bad with talking, I’m sorry if I’m not making sense but, I really admire how you have purpose in your life. How you work so hard, how you try so hard to make your dream come true. And like, you’re doing it! You’re being cast, and recommended and Jaehee sent me a couple of videos and your dance moves are stunning, and your voice is perfect and your acting is breath-taking. Like, I’m not very familiar with the entertainment world, but I don’t think there’s anyone greater than yourself.”

Silence.

As the words catch up to him, Jiho can feel the blood rushing to his head. He hangs up on the other in his panic.

 

“Oh, my _god, what have I done?”_ Jiho shrieks to himself, and before he has time to think about what useless human being he was, his phone began ringing and he almost flings it away in his panic.

It’s Zen.

Should- should he answer?

What if Zen just called to laugh in his face as much as possible?

He lets it go to voicemail.

And then it began ringing again.

Jiho stumbles to his room, staring at his phone screen all the while. He curls up in his bed as he watches the call go to voice mail again.

> He receives a text message.
> 
> [Zen]: Jiho??? Are you okay?? The call got interrupted but I can’t get through you
> 
> [Zen]: Is everything alright?

Jiho bites his nail as he thinks, before letting his quivering fingers on the touchpad.

> [Jiho]: srry
> 
> [Jiho]: what did you want to tell me tho

 

> [Zen]: I would prefer telling you on the phone.

 

> [Jiho]:um

 

> [Zen]: I can’t?

Jiho can almost imagine Zen with droopy puppy ears and he wills the image away.

> [Jiho]: I’m worried what you might tell me

 

> [Zen]: it’s nothing bad I promise

To be honest he wasn’t too sure if he was more frightened by that notion.

> [Zen]: please let me talk to you

One day he would learn that he was far too weak for Zen’s pleas.

 

That day was not today.

 

“Jiho, are you there?”

Jiho gulps and wonders where he got the strength to answer the phone again. “What did you want to tell me?”

“Will you- no, wait. Are you single?”

“What. Of course I am, what-?”

“Okay, good. Um, I want to ask you out.”

“What.”

“I’d like to get to know you better. You are a very charming person, and the things you said about me… Not everyone sees me beyond my looks. Not everyone sees me, really.” His voice breaks just at the perfect time to sound beautifully tragic. He inhales, and the way he chuckles nervously almost ends him. “Ah, I understand that we haven’t spent a lot of time together, but I really do mean it when I say you have quickly become my number one person. So? Are you willing to give me a chance?”

“I’m a man!” Jiho feels himself say, his soul suddenly not existing within his body. Everything feels so surreal. Maybe Zen had honestly forgotten again.

Zen laughs, and it increases his anxiety tenfold.

“Of course you are, do you think I would have forgotten so easily?”

Jiho hangs up on him again.

 

* * *

What was happening?

Jiho stares at the ceiling of his room and wonders if maybe this was all an elaborate ruse. Because certainly Zen couldn’t have thought _Jiho_ was interesting enough to date. He wasn’t interesting enough to _befriend_ , what-

His phone pings.

It’s obvious who it is, but still Jiho drags his phone back to him.

> [Zen]: Jiho???
> 
> [Zen]: Did the call disconnect again??
> 
> [Zen]: OMG or did you reject me??
> 
> [Zen]: Jiho??
> 
> [Zen]: are you there?

 

> [Zen]: I’m sorry, I think I need to hear your voice
> 
> [Zen]: I don’t want to jump to conclusions.
> 
> [Zen]: It’s okay if you don’t like me
> 
> [Zen]: Maybe I overstepped my friendship

 

> [Zen]: I’m sorry
> 
> [Zen]: Call me when you feel better
> 
> [Zen]: have a good day

 

Jiho feels a hole in his chest as he reads the messages, and someone with more courage than himself must have possessed his body, because next he knows, he’s returning the call.

“…Jiho?” Zen answers on the second ring, voice too mellow for comfort. Too quiet.

“I’m sorry, I… I panic easily. I’m anxious. I’m lame. I can’t speak well in public. I’m awkward and boring. The me from the chatroom is different from the real me. I’m not calling you a liar but, I don’t think I am who you really like.” Jiho says in a quiet mumble, something lightening inside him at the confession.

“And do you think I’m perfect?”

“Um, yes?” Jiho answers before he can really think about it which prompts Zen to burst out in surprised chuckles.

“Oh, wow, I didn’t- thanks for saying that, but not even I am perfect. I know I am narcissistic. I was in a gang. I’m a lot of bad things.” He sighs, “that’s just part of being human. But those things you said, they’re not deal-breakers. I like who you are, Jiho. You are committed, you are altruistic. You chanced upon us by accident, but you decided to help us, and never did it cross your mind to do it half-heartedly. Jaehee has told us. I mean, you managed to impress her, and that’s _hard_. She’s like, elite.” Zen clears his throat, as if embarrassed. “But yeah, I admire you a lot. I want to get to know you better, and I don’t want anyone else to steal you from me.”

Jiho splutters, at a loss for words. “But-but what Jaehee said, she’s right, your reputation-“

“Oh, nono, you don’t get to worry about it. I am not picking fame over love, that’s- uh, um…” Zen trails off, his embarrassment only exacerbating Jiho’s own. “Anyway, that is for me to decide, and I wish to experience it with you.”

“We’ve barely met.”

“And yet, I feel as if we’ve known each other for forever.” Zen laughs. “Oh, man I hope you don’t mind me being cheesy. You get me all riled up.”

Tears prickle at the corner of his eyes. “Can- can I get some time to think about it?”

“Of course you can!” Zen rushes to reassure him, adding. “Only, please don’t take too long, it’s bad for my heart.”

“I-I won’t.” He immediately says, still a little dazed. Neither of them hang up, and somehow the silence is not entirely uncomfortable.

“Um,” Jiho begins. “Are you at work?”

“Not yet, my director had to go out of the city to sign a contract, and it was short-notice so I have the day off. But I have the script and the music for Echo Girl’s performance, so I’ll stay busy.”

“Oh my god, that’s right, you’re going to go onstage with her!” As always, every time he remembered, he got excited anew for Zen’s luck. “Are you excited?”

Zen laughs, nervously. “Yeah.” His voice is kind of flat.

“Zen, is everything alright?”

He hears a sigh. “To be honest I’ve never told this to anyone else, but… I’m so nervous. It’s a big production, and a lot of people have their eyes on it… when it was confirmed that I got the role, they told me the likely venue, and oh my god. I can’t tell you the location yet, but this is by far the largest stage I’ve ever been on. And let me tell you, I’ve been on many.” His voice lowers, earning a husky note that is mostly nerves. “I couldn’t really tell anyone how I feel. I can’t break character; you know? Zen, the narcissist being nervous? Ha! What a joke.”

Jiho doesn’t say anything, but the words break his heart. That and Zen’s voice.

“But,” Zen continues, his voice changing yet again. “But I think I can be honest with you, Jiho.”

The sincerity of his words, of his voice, prompts Jiho to mumble back,

“I want to be honest with you too, Zen.”

Which is a scary, scary thought.

And still, Zen surprises him by replying in a soft voice, free of judgment. “I’m honored. I hope you can tell me whenever you’re ready. I’m ready to listen to whatever you have to say. Alright?”

He laughs, taking weight off the subject, “even if you want to talk about your crazy love for me. I’m all ears! Yes! Haha!”

Jiho’s mouth is dry as sandpaper, but fortunately that did not need an answer as he continued.

“To be honest… I’m a bit anxious about this. I think I have to do a good job for this one… No, I must do a good job. But I feel frustrated and nervous since the script and songs aren’t in my head yet.” Zen sighs, and he sounds so lost and sad that Jiho forgets about all of his doubts and fears. “Do you… do you think I’m prepared for such a big role as this one?

“Of course. You’ve prepared all along for this, lovely Zen.” Jiho promises.

 

It is a mixture of bad luck and his nerves that ends up causing his injury.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will have to appeal to your suspension of disbelief lmfao. I know they haven't met for long, but they be boyfriends now omg. Hey, the game itself makes him fall for you in like 3 days.
> 
> Also I know that anxiety is a terrible, terrible thing but lmfao Jiho stop hanging up on Zen :joy:
> 
> And oh my god, this set-up is so long? Like excuse me when can we get to the timeloop, kay thnx


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this is my favorite way of dealing with stress.  
> Prepare your pasta because this gonna get cheesy.

It had just been yet another dumb argument, between Zen and Jumin. Or so Jiho had thought, as he arrived late to the conversation. He was just able to tell Jumin to back down, but Zen had long since disappeared from the chatroom.

Jiho tries calling him twice, but relents when he doesn’t answer. He leaves a couple messages and hopes for the best.

Yoosung hadn’t appeared at all in the chatroom, probably too busy still cleaning up, and so with him gone and Seven MIA, there was no one to lighten the mood, no one to distract Jiho as he slowly gnawed his fingers raw in worry. Jaehee was worried as well, but so busy she probably hadn’t even realized the implications.

When Zen finally appear to announce that he had hurt himself, Jiho was distraught.

It hurt so much seeing that charismatic man call himself pathetic and getting angry at his own luck.

But when the other members are quick to suggest that he should visit Zen to cheer him up, he’s not sure.

It was one thing to talk over the phone, on the messenger…

Would Zen even like Jiho?

With his broad shoulders and narrow hips. With his deep voice and stubbly chin.

 But as Zen continues beating himself up over his own inability, Jiho decided that it was not important.

 Even if Zen realized that he couldn’t love a man, Jiho still wanted to be there for him. To cheer him up if he could.

 

Everything is arranged without Zen’s or Jiho’s input, as Jumin and a miraculously online Seven convene on how to keep Jiho safe, and the location of the apartment hidden.

 

* * *

 

In what seems like the blink of an eye, Jiho finds himself exiting the stupid limo Jumin had ordered. Standing in front of Zen’s house.

 

Ringing his doorbell.

 

“Wow,” Zen had said upon opening the door. Jiho smiled contritely, shrinking in on himself, not expecting his next words to be. “My god, you’re beautiful.”

Jiho looked at him as if he couldn’t believe his words, but all he saw was Zen’s smile and relieved face.

Jiho could practically feel his heart swelling in his chest.

He loved him so, so much.

 

* * *

Jiho takes care of him to the best of his abilities. He makes Zen lie down, ignoring his protests and cleans his house. He sweeps the floor and throws away the take-out containers as well as putting away his clothes.

He just smiled and reassured Zen every time he popped his worried face to protest, but in reality it worried him a little. This level of untidiness was not healthy, and it hurt him to think that Zen had gone so fast to the brink of depression. He scowls at the cans of beer strewn all across Zen’s room.

Well, alcohol and cigarettes certainly helped in that.

After that is done, Jiho finally surrenders and crawls into bed with the pouty actor. He’s lying on his side, close to the edge and his boyfriend slides just behind him. Zen doesn’t look back “Hey, Zen. Are you mad?”

“Of course I’m not! I’m just…” Zen frowns at him, twisting his body to face him. He sighs, “I’m just annoyed at myself that I made you clean up my house when all you should be doing is having fun and enjoying your time here.”

“Zen, you’re injured. It’s perfectly fine to take a break and ask for help.” Jiho begins, softly, slowly. He looks back into ruby-like eyes. “I came here to help. I came to make sure my favorite boy isn’t lonely. And also,” Jiho lets a cheeky grin spread on his face. “Don’t think I’ll make a habit of cleaning up after you. I will make sure you pay me back in full.”

Zen looks perplexed and amused and he laughs as he drags him close for a hug. He buries his face in Jiho’s suddenly sensitive neck and breathes out. Jiho does his best to pretend he wasn’t affected by any of that.

The way Zen smirks into his neck is proof of how bad he fails to do that.

Zen raises his head to stare into his eyes, “Well, I have always said that men are wolves.”

Jiho chokes while breathing in and turns a very vivid shade of red. He looks away and pouts when Zen laughs at his expression and just nuzzles into his neck again as if blind to the way Jiho tenses up and goosebumps spread throughout his body.

“But you are reacting like a cute little lamb, Jiho.”

Ohh that did it.

Zen was going to pay.

“Well,” he said, as he unwrapped his arms from around Zen to lift his chin. “what would you say if this little lamb found your big bad wolf collection of porn?”

Jiho ‘s little smirk disappeared, his mouth going slack at the way Zen blushed from the tip of his nose to his neck, the beautiful tone travelling all the way down to his collarbone in an obscene way. Zen pushes him away, looking at anywhere but at him.

“Oh, goodness, why did you look in there?” He was mumbling, mortified.

Jiho.exe was still not responding.

This man…

Was just _so beautiful._

 “Wha-?” Zen says as Jiho gets in his space, quickly hoisting himself up so Jiho was on top of him, hand on the either side of his head. Zen gulps as he takes in the vivid blush on his face, as well as the blown pupils and shiny, slick lips.

“Zen, I-“ Jiho begins, licks his lips again, feeling his body reacting to the way Zen follows the movement of his tongue. He whines, softly, lowly. “You cannot expect me to see such a beautiful man as yourself and not do anything about it.”

Blush still fierce in his face, Zen grins challenging. “And what was it that you wanted to do?”

Jiho lets out a shaky breath as he dips his face closer. And he stops. Breaths mingling with their proximity, Jiho asks, “can I kiss you?”

Zen raises a hand to tangle in Jiho’s short hair and closes the distance himself.

His lips are soft.

They’re soft and warm and Jiho can feel his consciousness wanting to disappear because certainly all that he was feeling couldn’t be real. This man couldn’t be real.

Zen smiles into the kiss, and Jiho can no longer think of anything else as he relishes in the feeling of soft lips against his. Without meaning to, he traces them with his tongue, and fortunately Zen responds greedily.

Zen sucks on his tongue as soon as it enters his mouth and hums as the other man stopped breathing entirely.

Zen is a very greedy man, and soon enough he’s tugging at Jiho’s shirt, begging him to press their naked chests together, still joined by the lips.

Jiho is too distracted by Zen to think about feeling self-conscious. He just giggles, and gasps and tries to return the affections as good as he can.

 

* * *

“Y’know,” Jiho mutters against the neck he’s peppering with kisses, letting his hands roam free over his boyfriend’s abdomen. “I’m pretty sure your abs have abs.”

This makes Zen laugh, and Jiho squawks indignantly as he pressed him against his chest before turning, so Jiho would lie beneath him.

For one frightening second, Jiho feels caged in, but Zen looks at him with such adoration that he completely forgets who he is.

“You caught me,” Jiho breathes out. He means it in every way. “I’m yours.”

Zen smiles so brightly; it’s like staring at the sun.

 

 

* * *

They… lounge about, for a while. Getting to know each other in a more intimate way, while still remaining half-clothed.

Jiho knows he doesn’t have the best body, and he knows how Zen is concerned while tracing his ribs, and bony hips, but at no point does he make him feel undesirable and it almost makes him want to cry.

It was all fun and everything but, that’s not why Jiho was there.

He sighs, as he untangles himself from Zen, mindful of not touching his injured leg. He can’t tear his eyes away from him, and his sad puppy eyes but he still puts on his shirt.

 “Okay,” he says, trying not to fall for his beautiful eyes all over again. “I better get up and cook something. What do you want to eat?”

Zen has the gall to throw him his dirtiest look to date. The other man shuddered even as he laughed a tad breathless. “Geez, I set myself up for that. And while I wouldn’t be against that,” he says, raking his eyes on all of his perfect Adonis body. “We both need to eat. Actual food.”

Jiho leaves, and if he ends up swaying his hips as he leaves the room he has only his feverish head to blame.

 

* * *

It takes him two minutes and an empty fridge to recover.

“Zen!” He whines why don’t you have anything edible in your fridge I swear to god!”

“Aw, babe. Don’t worry about that and just order take-out. I don’t really invite people to my home and I tend to eat out with my coworkers so I never bother.” Zen calls out, still lounging lazily on his bed.

Jiho pouts. “I said I would be cooking and your body will heal faster with a homemade meal!”

That said he twirls on his heel and walks out.

“Babe, Jiho? Where are you going?”

“To the store!”

“Babe wait!”

 

* * *

He had said that, but the ATM had informed him that if he wanted to buy anything, he’s need to think about where to cut his expenses.

Foolishly deciding to do that later, Jiho prepares a meal in his mind and buys the ingredients, taking up everything on sale.

He prepares the stew, and while he waits for it to boil he sits down on the counter, pulls out pen and paper and has his existential crisis.

Okay. Since living in Rika’s apartment he didn’t have to pay any utilities, so all of his money went to buying food. Although he was really running thin on both.

He remembers he has half a bag of rice, as well as some chicken he had found on sale. That would last him another day. He only had enough money for a cup of noodles afterwards. His payday would arrive in…

What day was today again?

November seventh. He was getting paid until the fifteenth.

Did he have anything to sell?

If he spaced himself and only ate the chicken tomorrow, the rice for the following days…

No wait, if he ate a good healthy meal today. He could eat his chicken the day after tomorrow, the rice would last him three more days if he spaced it correctly. And the cup of noodles if he collapsed before the fifteenth.

“Ugh, maybe I should sell my clothes.” Jiho groans, feeling the overwhelming pang of losing his only possessions again.

He smiles to himself as he remembers he’s doing all this for Zen. He rubs his eyes tiredly, as he deflates against the chair. “God, I hope Zen finds my sacrifice yummy at least.”

“Babe?”

His heart jumps to his throat at hearing his voice, only that this time it’s not in arousal. Jiho turns around quickly, crumpling the paper in his hands and burying it in his pants. “Zen! Hi! What- what are you doing up?”

Zen looks concerned. Jiho begs to the heavens above that he hadn’t heard.

“Is there… Is there something wrong, Jiho?”

“What? No, pssh. Nothing.” Real smooth, Jiho. Like sandpaper against concrete. “Are you hungry? Food will be ready in a while, I’ll let you know. You should go back to bed.”

He doesn’t say anything and he thinks he was mercifully saved but the increasingly uncomfortable look on his face makes dread pool in the pit of his stomach.

He tries for a smile. “Is there…. Is there a problem?”

“No, it’s just…” Zen looks down at the floor guiltily. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have let you buy the groceries. Tell me how much it-“

Jiho could feel the flush of shame overtaking his face. “Oh, god. Oh fuck, you heard me. Oh, how…”

Humiliating.

He gulps and tries to become one with the chair.

“Jiho? Are you okay?”

Jiho breathes in, shaky as it were, hoping that something would miraculously occur so they wouldn’t need to have this conversation, or at least that words would flow out of his mouth in a sensible manner. “Look, okay. Yes. I have a bit of a financial struggle. But I’m on my way to solving it-“ Was he really? “You don’t need to worry yourself, I’ll pull through. I always have.”

Zen looks so doubtful, it’s actually even worse. “Are you sure? I’m not a trust fund kid, but if you ever need my help-“

“No, thank you.” Jiho replies a bit too quick for it not to be cutting. He regrets it immediately.

“I’m sorry. This must be a really sensitive topic for you.”

Jiho looks away.

“How about your family?” Zen, damn his heart, continues. “Can’t they help you?”

Jiho represses his memories and does his best to smile. “Ah, my family isn’t really…”

Really what?

What should he say?

What _could_ he say?

Zen takes the reigns when Jiho falters. He limps closer to him, trying to catch his eye. “Is the stew ready?”

“What?” Jiho blinks repeatedly, not understanding where this was coming from. His boyfriend repeats his words and Jiho jumps in place. “Ah, the stew yeah- no. No it’s… Um, in half an hour? It’ll be done, I mean. Yeah.”

“Can I turn it off for a moment?”

“What? Why?”

“I want to show you something.”

 

* * *

The something he wants to show him, is the rooftop. Jiho follows him in silence, hugging himself from the embarrassment and the chilly wind.

Zen leads him to a block of concrete that functioned as chairs. With help from Jiho, he limps over to them and then makes the other boy sit.

“You know… I’m really happy that you came. Back when I first injured my ankle I thought that my life was over. That I had gotten what I deserved for being so selfish and conceited.” He smiles at Jiho when he makes to protest. “But then you opened my eyes again. You made it impossible for me to feel sorry about myself. I’d like… I’d really like to be able to do that for you as well.”

“I appreciate the thought, Zen but…”

“I know it’s late. You surely are hungry but… will you listen to my story?”

This gives him pause, he looks at him, and asks. “Story?”

Zen sighs, gazing up at the starry sky. “Yeah. My story.”

“I’d be honored.”

 

Zen smiles.

 

“I used to be really close to my older brother.” He begins. “Even though we had a ten-year gap, I really got along with him. He was the only one to defend me when my parents continued saying I was ugly. Ugly and conceited and would never amount much in life if I didn’t apply myself to school.” He scrunches his nose. “I guess that’s the main reason I ran away from home.”

And like this he tells him. About his relationship with his family. About his struggles living alone and trying to stay in school. About his difficulty making ends meet, making the time to continue pursuing his dream.

He tells him about Rika and V and how they helped his dream come true.

About why he fights with Jumin at every step of the way.

He looks down, he laughs. “I can’t believe I told you this much about me. But the point of all of this was…

“Everyone has their struggles. And maybe my own can be useful for you. I’m not presuming I know your entire situation, but I know how hard it can be. So when I offer you my help, it’s not out of pity. It’s because I’ve been there as well. And if I hadn’t received help myself, I wouldn’t be here with you.”

Zen grabs his hand, Jiho looks up. “So trust me. Trust me that I only want the best for you.”

Maybe it is his glorious speech. Maybe it is the late hour, the chilly weather. Maybe it is the warmth of his body, of his hands on his. Maybe it is the fact that there’s no more perfect man in the entire world.

 

Jiho opens his mouth.

 

“I had a normal childhood.” He begins, looking at the dark horizon. “And then I turned twelve years old.”

 

And so he tells him.

Not everything. Not because he didn’t trust him, but because it was such a bizarre thing that he probably wouldn’t be believed.

He tells him about his sister. Saying her name makes old wounds hurt. Choking fear and guilt threatens to engulf him. His voice breaks more when he tries saying how much he loved her, than when explaining that she had died.

He jumps straight to the fact that his parents had decided they didn’t want anything to do with him anymore and threw him out with the clothes on his back.

How he had taken advantage of the RFA’s generosity. About how he had abandoned his own place, where he hadn’t paid the last two months of rent. At least that was covered by the lease he was never getting back. So he didn’t feel as bad.

They’re silent for a moment, huddled together against the cold, hands interwoven. “You know,” he eventually says. “Even if I hadn’t been able to stay at Rika’s. Even if I had to stay in my lousy apartment, it would still have been worth it if it meant getting to know you.”

Jiho smiles and dares look back at his boyfriend.

He’s gorgeous.

“I love you.”

He smiles. He leans closer, cupping his cold cheek with his free hand. “I love you too.”

They go back inside, finish the stew and eat it with some beer of Zen’s empty fridge.

Jiho spends the night.

He’s tired and exhausted and Zen promises him that he won’t try anything. Jiho’s very careful with his injured leg, and he falls asleep, cuddling against his boyfriend.

He doesn’t dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted the porn scene to be a nod to a cute zen/MC comic but Idr where I read it OTL.   
> So? What are your thoughts so far?
> 
> Oh, and that's why we never see Jiho's surname. He no longer goes by it lmfao.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> extra long chapter, to finally get somewhere

Zen couldn’t be human.

No human could look this perfect while sleeping with his mouth open, a bit of drool clinging to his chin.

Jiho smiles. For once, he was happy he couldn’t sleep more than four full hours at a time. If it allowed him to see this unprotected image of his boyfriend, it was completely worth it.

His phone is barely telling him it’s 7AM when the actor opens his eyes without warning, as if hearing an invisible alarm. They have a weird staring contest, Zen still hazy and half asleep and Jiho is suddenly overly conscious of the fact that they slept in the same bed. He’s already scrambling to get off when Zen reaches out and drags him against his chest– drool already miraculously gone.

Jiho huffs, has a protest on the tip of his tongue, but the content sigh Zen gives, makes him relax.

“Good morning, lovely Zen.”

“Good morning my beautiful boy.”

“Glad to see you remember my gender.”

Zen laughs, “you’ll never let me live that down, will you?”

“Hmm,” Jiho hums, as he presses his forehead against his chest. “I don’t think so.”

 

* * *

They have a lazy morning.

Normally, Zen would be out on his morning run, but as he was in no condition for that, Jiho manages to brighten his mood by reheating the stew and putting one of Zen’s musicals on the tv.

They’re having fun, with Zen live-performing for him and Jiho lip-synching along, when his doorbell rings. It is a shrill noise, that breaks through the music and through their peace.

 

“E-Echo Girl?!” Jiho can hear Zen’s startled voice from the kitchen and he’s quick to get closer to eavesdrop. “What are you doing here?”

“Zenny! Is this your house? It looks just as in the pictures!” A girly laugh that grates on Jiho’s ears erupts from the living room. “Are you surprised to see me?”

“I-um, yeah. Why are you here?” Zen asks again, sounding much too uncomfortable. Jiho scowls, he normally was flirty with everyone. Why would this girl make him like that? Was she clinging to him or something? Should he go see?

“I sneaked out!”

“You… what? What if someone sees us?” Zen asks in a flustered whisper.

“Who cares! We’re working together. Besides you’ll only get more popular if we get involved in a scandal.”

True, Jiho thinks, even as he clenches his fists nervously. Many artists got involved in plenty scandals just to stay relevant. But Zen had never liked that idea, and he actively avoided even getting a partner for that same reason. How rude of this girl to even joke about that.

Jiho turns his attention back to the arguing duo, as Echo Girl’s tone became more aggressive by Zen’s awkward denial.

“God, why did you come here? We talked in the morning.”

“Oppa~, don’t tell me you don’t know. There’s only one reason why a woman would stand in front of a man’s door alone.”

Aaand that was it.

Jiho composed his expression as best as he could into serene nonchalance as he strides out. Maybe having an actual public would stop her from escalating the situation even further.

“Zen?” Jiho acts casually, “are we going to finish the game or what? Who was at the door?”

Echo girl is a really pretty girl, Jiho thinks. But her features sour in an ugly frown when she catches sight of him. Her expression is immediately tucked away and she even takes a couple steps back, looking like an innocent little flower.

“Oh, who is this? Wait isn’t that your coworker? Are you discussing work right now? Isn’t it a little early for that?” Jiho asks, sounding as casual as he can possibly manage. The girl straightens her spine, pouting. Probably had gotten offended Jiho hadn’t recognized her. Served her well. His attention is drawn over to Zen who immediately relaxes and smiles at him.

“Oh, yes. I’m sorry, Jiho. This is Echo Girl, I’m still trying to figure out why she’s here, but we won’t take long. Right, Echo Girl?”

The girl ignores him as he looks Jiho up and down. “Who’s he?”

“He’s Jiho, he’s my…”

“Friend.” Jiho is quick to supply, trying not to look panicked or flustered. “We’re in the middle of a game. I’m sorry if I’m rude, but isn’t it a bit early for a work call?”

“That’s none of your business.” The girl sneers at him, all pretense of politeness completely forgotten. “You wouldn’t understand the world of the famous anyway!”

“Hmm,” Jiho shrugs uncaringly, Echo Girl bristles. He’s about to reply when Zen straightens to his full height.

“You will not insult my friend in my own home, Echo Girl. I already declined the job for my injuries so I don’t know why-“

“Oh, but I solved that!” Echo Girl interrupts him, returning to her chipper self in a ridiculous one-eighty.

Zen frowns, “you what?”

“Yeah! I talked to my manager! I told them I wouldn’t do this job if it wasn’t with you, Zenny!”

Zen perks up, before his brows furrow in confusion. “What, why would you do something like that? I can’t do it, I have a cast and…”

She cuts him off again, batting her overly long eyelashes at him. “But you have a monstrous healing rate, Zenny! I bet you’ll heal in no time, and you’ll be able to perform with me!”

“Echo Girl… um, this is awkward, what is your real name?”

“It’s Kyungju Choi. It’s not a sophisticated name, so I don’t really like it, but I guess that you should call me by my real name now. I feel like we’re just working when you call me Echo Girl.”

“But that’s all we are. Work friends.” Zen is quick to say, cutting off her excitement and flinching away from her attempted hug. “Kyungju, I appreciate your help, but I don’t want to gain prestige and privilege this way. If it’s not through my own abilities, I think… I don’t want this role.”

“…What? Zenny, you’re so funny,” she laughs weakly, her smile giving way to a grimace. “… what are you saying?”

“Look, Kyungju, I don’t think I ever led you on, but I apologize if I didn’t make my intentions clear.” He glances back at Jiho once, but it goes unnoticed. “I already have someone I like. I like you only as a work partner, and nothing more. If what I need to keep this job is suck up to you, then… It was a pleasure working with you.”

Echo Girl goes from flirty to furious in a quick second as she stepped even closer to Zen. She did so with such violence that Jiho rushes to pull Zen away, holding him in a protective embrace as Echo Girl gives out a very powerful scream, her eyes filling with tears.

Her manager rushes out, cellphone in hand and Jiho shoves Zen further back, not wanting them to see hugging Zen under any circumstance.

He’s not too sure what happens as their angry voices become white noise, he just knows they retreat and that Zen is unharmed.

He only comes back with Zen’s soft touch, soft voice.

“Jiho? Are you okay?... You’re shaking?”

The other boy draws in a desperate breath as he slowly comes back. He hugs himself, as he smiles weakly at Zen. “Sorry,” he croaks. “Are you okay?”

Zen looks worried. “I’m okay. Nothing happened to me, nothing happened Jiho. It was just a stupid threat; you can relax we’re fine…” He says, hovering around him but not touching him further.

“Right,” Jiho says. He trembles a bit more violently before it subsides. “I’m sorry, I overreacted.”

Zen’s face softens. “It’s okay.”

Great.

Pity.

Jiho turns away, clears his throat. “Did they say anything before leaving?”

“Jiho? Echo Girl said something about payback, but what can she do?”

Jiho messes up his hair. “She could ruin your reputation, Zen. Think about it. Crap, do you think she misinterpreted my being here? Should I leave? I’m sorry I-“

“Calm down, babe.”

“I can’t calm down! What if something happens to you over this?! God why couldn’t I-?”

“Jiho,” Zen walks so he can face him and gently takes his hands away from his face. “This is not your fault. Whatever happens, it won’t be your fault. This wasn’t your fault, not now not then. You have to stop blaming yourself for everything.”

Jiho flinches as Zen even hints about his guilt over his sister’s death. No, he didn’t understand. He couldn’t tell him everything so he had a skewed vision but it _was_ entirely his fault.

Zen tries to soothe him with a kiss, but Jiho almost falls with how fast he retreats. “No,” he whispers. His eyes skitter to the open door. “Close the door first.” Even though he was doing this for him, he can’t bear to look into Zen’s hurt expression.

Jiho is the one to close the door. He’s still grabbing the doorknob, his back to him when he whispers. “I should go.”

“Jiho…”

“We don’t know what they’re planning but we should be prepared.”

“Jiho listen to me… if you want to leave it’s alright but… don’t leave with such an expression on your face.”

Jiho wants to call him on his bullshit, still facing the door. Instead all he manages is a weak, “I’m sorry, I-“

“No, don’t apologize-“

Jiho laughs. He turns to him with as much of a smile as he can manage. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m just worried for you. I have to leave, I need to keep working, you probably need to as well.”

He lets Zen hold him, grab his face and stare into his eyes. “Jiho,” Zen says, unyielding. “I love you no matter what. And no matter what Echo Girl attempts, I’ll make sure to protect you.”

The dark-brown-haired boy raises his own hand to rest atop Zen’s. “Same goes for you, Zen. I’ll protect you even if it costs me my life.”

Zen scowls, taking Jiho by surprise. “No, I won’t allow that. We’ll both protect each other and stay alive, you hear me?”

(When they kiss, the smile on Jiho is sincere, even if a bit sad. Zen doesn’t notice.)

 

* * *

Jiho opens the RFA chats while Driver Kim is taking him back to a closer spot to the apartment. He immediately panics as Seven talks about a hacker, about being infiltrated. About being at risk.

 

**Jiho has entered the chatroom.**

[Jiho]: What is going on???

[707]: Good morning  
[707]: Um, I guess you already read the messages? Jumin is already deploying bodyguards for everyone, don’t worry.

[Jiho]: Seven who is it, what do they want?

[707]: I don’t know, I’m sorry…  
[707]: What I’ve managed to learn is that they belong to some religious cult. Mint Eye.

[Jiho]: Have you ever heard of it?

[707]: No.

**Zen has entered the chatroom.**

[Zen]: Hello, babe <3

[707]: Hello <3

[Zen]: Ew, wasn’t talking to you.

[Jiho]: IDK about you, I’m totally down for a threesome.

[Zen]: **OMG**

[707]: LOLololol  
[707]: Using slang and being provocative. You’ve been corrupted, sweet angel.

[Jiho]: Maybe you’re just seeing the real me.

[707]: haha… while that’s hilarious… I have to be the one to be serious. Zen you haven’t checkd the chats, right? Let me tell you.  
[707]: There will be bodyguards going to your place, they’re to protect you in case the hacker decides to go after you.

[Zen]: Hacker?? Bodyguards?? What is happening?

[707]: the chatroom has been breached. I managed to block him again, but I still can’t trace his IP, and he won’t stop trying. We need to be prepared in case anything happens.

[Zen]: God I hate receiving help from rich kids, but I guess I don’t have a choice. What about Jiho? Are you sending bodyguards to him as well?

[707]: The location of the apartment is classified… I’m trying to reach V…

[Zen]: What do you mean tryin to reach V??? JIHO IS IN DANGER

[Jiho]: Calm down, Zen. I’m okay, there’s no reason I’d be targeted, right?

[707]: No, Zen is right. The hacker is trying to infiltrate the RFA chatroom, He’s got beef with us. In which case they could target the place Rika used to store sensitive information in.

[Zen]: JIHO. ARE YOU STILL ON YOUR WAY?? COME BACK HERE! DON’T GO BACK TO THE APARTMENT.

[Jiho]: I’m fine, Zen I swear. It’s surely not as bad, right Seven?

[707]: ;;; idk, didk, Maybe you should go back with Zen. Maybe that would be safer maybe

[Jiho]: Seven, Zen. Both of you calm down. We need to be rational. I’m already almost there, it seems too much to ask driver Kim to take me back

**Zen has left the chatroom.**

[Jiho]:  and We still have to worry about a scandal breaking out

[707]: Scandal???

[Jiho]: Zen gdi where di du go?

[707]: But what scandal???

[Jiho]: Right, I wanted to talk to you about it. Echo Girl came earlier and made a total scene. I worry she might have something up her sleeve. Because Zen refused to kiss up to her for the role.

[707]: Echo Girl came??? What happened exactly?

[Jiho]: I’m not… too sure. I blacked out during the confrontation.

[707]: U fainted? Did someone hit u

[Jiho]: No of course not, I just… panicked. Sorry.

[707]: No don’t apologize, it’s fine. I’ll ask Zen later, don’t worry I’ll help if anything happens

[Jiho]: sorry for bringing this up when you’re already so busy.

 

“Mr Jiho?” The brunet looked up sharply from his phone to stare at his driver. “Mr. Han just called me, he’s telling me that we need to go back to Mr. Hyun’s house. I hope it’s not too much of a bother?”

“What?!” Jiho exclaims. Back in the chatroom Jumin and Zen are logged in, and Jiho understands. Traitors.

He deflates against the expensive leather. Crap.

What if he endangered Zen?

“This is a very bad idea.” He mutters to himself, trying hard not to curl into a ball and scream.

“Mr. Jiho?”

“Driver Kim can you pull over? I need to make a call.”

“Sure thing.”

 

 

* * *

“Seven.” Jiho accuses, no hello no nothing.

“Jiho, has Driver Kim told you? We decided that it’ll be safer for you to be with Zen and Jumin’s bodyguards.” Seven greets him by saying, voice secure and not at all guilty for the faux de pass.

“I’m not sure that’s the best thing to do.”

“…What do you mean?”

“What if something happens? What if a scandal grows? I don’t know what happened back there, Seven. I really don’t remember. What if my being there just makes everything worse?” Jiho confesses, hugging himself tight in that expensive car.

“Jiho that’s not important right now.” Sevens says as if he actually believed the words. “There’s nothing to do about it at the moment. We should just focus on getting you to safety.”

“I’m safe in that apartment.” He challenges.

“You’re also alone.”

“So what, I’ve survived well so far.”

Too well, he might add.

“There it is again. One of these days I’ll get you to tell me what happened. But for that you need to be alive. Jiho, I beg you. Go back to Zen. I will make sure to control any scandal, even if I have to pull all-nighters.” Seven says, voice on the verge of breaking.

Jiho remains silent for a while, just clutching at his phone.

“Is this really for the best?”

“Yes, you should trust us. I know it might be uncomfortable, but you’ll have to stay a couple days probably. Just while I figure where they are located, while I figure how to defeat them. Trust God Seven!”

Jiho breathes in.

“Okay,” he whispers, feeling the guilt churning in his stomach. “I’ll trust you.”

 

 

* * *

Zen hurries to the door, clutching him tight in his arms and Jiho replies in kind. Around them there are already suited men scanning the entire place.

“Let’s go inside, Jiho. You must be shaken.”

“Yeah,” he whispers, conflicted and lost.

 

* * *

As it turns out, Seven did get to work as soon as he hung up with Jiho and when he next logs in, he and Yoosung were gone, going for the Hacker’s headquarters.

Meanwhile, the news has blown up.

RISING ACTOR ZEN, ACCUSED OF SEXUAL HARRASMENT

ECHO GIRL CANCELS PRODUCTION WITH ZEN OVER CLAIMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE

DID ZEN RAPE ECHO GIRL??? FIND OUT MORE UNDER THE CUT

 

Zen is horrified and lost and the only comfort Jiho can offer him is his presence. He’s there, holding his hand tight as Zen talks over the phone, arguing and defending himself and trying to make his director understand.

Jumin sends a couple messages to the chatroom.

 

[Jumin]: Seven told me he had a plan if anything blew up. We have to wait for him to come back. Meanwhile, Assistant Kang?

[Jaehee]: Yes?

[Jumin]: I will need you to help look up information to support the case.

[Jaehee]: Immediately, sir… But what is our stand?

[Jumin]: I’m afraid Seven has not disclosed the exact posture he wants to take.

[Jaehee]: I’ll just look up everything then.

[Jumin]: Yes. Well then.

**Jumin has left the chatroom.**

[Jaehee]: Jiho, Zen  
[Jaehee]: Don’t worry, everything will be solved soon. Please don’t be discouraged nor do anything rash.

**Jaehee has left the chatroom.**

 

It manages to give Zen back the spark in his eyes.

 

They avoid the news as much as they can. Whenever Zen was out for work, Jiho would try to get some work done with the RFA emails and a borrowed computer. He also phoned in with the store manager and had resigned, claiming a family emergency and knowing he was burning the bridge forever.

In this restless state, Zen begins seeing into Jiho’s sleepless nights.

He’d toss and turn and wake up covered in sweat, and always without fail Jiho would be there to comfort him, soothing him, kiss him until he can breathe normally again.

“Babe?” He asks, eyes hazy and tired. “Why are you always awake?”

“Because I am attuned to you,” Jiho lies. “I wake up when you need me.”

Zen smiles. And drags him closer. “In that case I’ll make sure you sleep more. Your eye bags are growing.”

Jiho purses his lips.

 

 

* * *

Seven and Yoosung come back just before the party, and by that point Jiho had been getting so little sleep that he misses half of the conversation about Mint Eye.

His brain is too tired to notice the amount of information they’re not sharing.

He just reads that they’re safe from the hacker.

And that Seven’s grand solution was to bring a swarm of reporters to Jiho’s hard-planned party.

> [Jiho]: You better know what you’re doing, seven.

 

> [707]: No worries ~ u will c

 

Zen is apparently also in on whatever Seven was planning as he seemed nervous, but excited for the party. He just smiles, ruffles his hair and says, “everything will be fine. Let’s trust Seven.”

Like this, the party, the grand party finally rounds the corner and after an incredibly awkward gift from Jumin, Jiho arrives with Zen in a dark blue tuxedo with a matching tie, a light blue undershirt and even a pair of expensive looking cufflinks.

“My boyfriend is so handsome.” Zen comments planting a kiss on his cheek in plain daylight. Jiho is too surprised to push him away, but as soon as the door of (again, Jumin’s) limo open, they’re swarmed by flashing light and screeching voices of a thousand reporters.

Jiho freezes and it’s Zen who takes the lead, grabbing his cold hand and hauling the both of them, being immediately surrounded by bodyguards that safely escorted them inside.

Jiho recovered himself and snatched his hand back when the doors close, but Zen just smiles indulgently and whispers. “I have something to prepare, I hope you can be without me for a couple minutes.”

As all answer, Jiho puffs up his cheeks and just walks away, choosing to greet _his_ guests.

 

* * *

He has an awkward conversation with the enthusiastic Oil Prince, followed by an entertaining discussion over Zen with his fanclub

He finds Yoosung, in a blue dress shirt and a yellow tie, who smiles at him, and introduces him to his mother. The older woman looks tired, but genuinely glad to “finally meet, Yoosung’s new friend”, to which Jiho smiles even wider.

 

Then he finds that there is a bubble of isolation, of which Jumin is the center of.

“Hey, Jumin? How’s it going, is everything alright?” Jiho says as he draws near, ever the epitome of social awkwardness. He even forgot to introduce himself, so he really would have expected the other man to just ignore him.

“Jiho. It is a pleasure to finally meet you. I would say you look rather… dashing, if I’m allowed the indiscretion.” Jumin says instead, and Jiho briefly thinks that Seven probably distributed his own picture or something anyway.

“Oh wow, how bold of you!” Jiho laughs, too nervous to consider feeling awkward. “What are you doing all alone here? Come on!” He says, boldly stretching out a hand.

Jumin smiles at him and Jiho notices the air of sadness around him.

“Jumin, is everything alright?”

“I am fine. Unlike you, I was not threatened by the hacker, or anything of the like. I just…” Jumin looks down, somehow looking really young. “I’m just coming to terms with the consequences of my actions?”

“What happened?” Jiho asks, feeling cold pooling in his gut. Had it been the hacker? Had something happened while he was too distracted by Zen and the lack of sleep and his dumb dumb self to-

“Nothing much. I just may have come out to my father. And his girlfriend. And my new fiancée.”

Jiho reels back. “Wait what, fiancée?”

“Yes, they wanted me to sign a marital agreement to join our two companies together, with no benefit on our part of course.” Jumin reveals, still sounding as if he wasn’t talking about something rather life-changing.

Jiho frowned. “Wait and your dad agreed to this?”

“He is a great man and an amazing businessman, but whenever it involves women, he seems to be completely blind.”

“O-oh, and how did he take it?”

Jumin looks at his cup of wine, and empties it in one gulp. “As it turns out, his girlfriend and my fiancée were working together to steal the company right from under our noses. So I suppose we were saved from that headache. Regarding the fact that I am not interested in women… He told me he’s going to need time to process it.”

“Yes, that’s understandable, I-“ Jiho begins, feeling relief relaxing his shoulders.

“And also, he wants me to split the company, so we won’t depend on each other’s reputation to succeed. I suppose it is his insurance, when this all blows over. Because I’m sure-“

“Wait, what? Jumin that’s terrible, how could he do that?!”

“… I do not see your concern.” Jumin blinks down at him, voice still plain and quiet.

“Well- I mean- you know… Doesn’t it sound a little harsh? You haven’t done anything wrong, and he’s going to have you do all that work of dividing the company just because he doesn’t want to be associated with his gay son?” Jiho exclaims, incensed and pissed in behalf of the despondent man.

“That is not…”

“Well it sure is suspicious.”

Jumin stares at him, then back down at his empty glass. “I need more wine.”

“What you need,” Jiho says, still feeling rather pissed. “is a hug. Are you into them?”

“Excuse me?”

“Do you like hugs?”

“…Yes.”

“Come ‘ere, then.”

“It’ll all work out, you’ll see.” Jiho mumbles, feeling stiff arms slowly coming up around him, mimicking his own. He’s thin and shorter, but Jiho knows there’s a measure of comfort to be offered and he does his best. And he can almost think that Jumin finally relaxes against him.

 

 

* * *

Sooner rather than later, the reporters are let in, forming a conglomerate near the raised platform. Then the lights dim, a spotlight shines the red curtains behind the stage from which Zen emerges in all of his glory.

Jiho’s breath gets caught in his throat. What was he doing? He didn’t think this was scheduled.

“Hello, everyone.” Zen says, a mic taped to his white suit so he could talk freely. “First of all, I’d like to thank you all, for attending this party. I’m sure the reporters must be off-putting, but as you all are well aware, my image has taken a bit of a hit and I’ll take this chance to clear up some misconceptions about what happened with me and Echo Girl.”

Like this, carefully, methodically, Jiho listens with his jaw hanging open, as Zen delivers a perfect speech of what happened up to the point Echo Girl had stormed off, angry and embarrassed that her advances hadn’t worked. At this point, he smiles embarrassed, takes a minute and then plods on.

“She never tried to get to know me. If she had taken just a second to talk to me, before forcing herself on me she would have known… that I currently am in a relationship.”

Jiho stiffens. What is he doing? Is this okay? Won’t his reputation be affected?

The buzz of excited voices almost drowns out Zen’s next words, “As a matter of fact, this whole situation is twice as ridiculous because… my current boyfriend was there at the moment of the supposed assault.”

The crowd grows wild, people throwing candid questions like hungry hyenas and Jiho can barely understand anything being said over the thumping in his ears. What was Zen doing?

Zen locks eyes with him from across the stage and smiles. “If my beloved wouldn’t be against it. I would like for him to come upstage with me.”

Jiho feels frozen. Glued to his spot. As if his limbs had rusted off and he couldn’t physically move.

And yet when he next comes to, he’s climbing up the stairs to meet Zen, who promptly links their hands together and smiles so widely that it melts Jiho’s insecurities.

“This boy, this handsome man,” Zen says to the crowds, eyes glued to Jiho’s. “Has taken over my heart. He’s the reason I wake up in the mornings, he’s the reason I breathe and live. And is the reason why I cannot look at anyone else. Jiho, I love you from here to the moon and back. I hope I can be a man apt for you, to deserve your love. Jiho, I love you. My heart can only belong to you.”

 (Jiho is sure it’s the other way around.)

He’s a bit in shock, so he just stands there, hands trapped in Zen’s as he answers a couple of the questions of the reporters before they are pulled away and Jiho finds a chair being pushed under his weak knees.

Zen is hovering over him, worried ruby eyes on him. “Jiho?”

Jiho chuckles a bit hysterical, covering his mouth with his hands. “Oh my god, Zen. What…”

“I love you. I love you so much, I want the entire world to know.”

“You know what the tabloids are going to say.”

“I don’t care.”

“Does Zen is gay?” Jiho snorts and Zen follows along. He pressed both of their forehead together.

“Zen is gay for you, Jiho. So please take care of my heart.”

“Forever.” Jiho promises, and he means it.

 

 

* * *

He gets to kiss Zen several times, several days. Until one day, with no fanfare, no warning. the hacker appears and destroys his precious happiness.

 

Zen had dropped Jiho off after one of their dates, and Jiho wanted just a change of clothes before staying over at Zen’s.

 

They never quite get the chance.

 

Jiho suddenly can’t breathe, his body already half into hyperventilating anyway, as someone grabbed him from behind, a clothed arm around his jugular, cutting off all of his air. Somehow the man was strong enough to keep him still with a single arm, the other dangling by his side, holding something in his grasp.

“Don’t move,” he whispers in his ear, voice jarring and broken and painful to hear. “Don’t move or I’ll blow this place up.”

Suddenly, despite still not being able to properly see whatever was on this man’s hand, Jiho was frighteningly sure it was a bomb detonator.

Even like this, in a power standstill, tears of relief build up in his eyes as Zen of all people entered the room, the smile on his face slipping faster than Jiho could think.

His eyes widened.

And then an enraged growl left his gorgeous lips.

“Let him go, let him go or so help me!” He snarled, not daring to step closer, as his eyes took in the scene, and the weapon in his hands.

The man laughs, “One more step, one wrong move and I’ll blow this place up.”

Zen hesitates, and Jiho can feel himself shaking. How had it come down to this? “You wouldn’t… you can’t do it. You would die as well,” Zen says, trying to reason with him.

Jiho gags as the arms around his neck tighten with the frenzy in the stranger’s eyes. “It would be my honor to sacrifice myself for the cause! For Paradise! I’d be happy to go, yes!”

Jiho feels the terror creeping inside his heart at hearing the man’s shattered laughter.

“Why’re you doing this? Is it money you want? I’m sure- I’m sure we can reach an agreement!” Zen tries next, still not leaving for some reason.

If Jiho could speak, he would have called him an idiot already. An idiot and a fool who didn’t deserve to die like this with him.

His trembling hands try to pry the arm away from his throat, feeling rather than seeing the black spots dancing in his vision.

“Money!? Why would I need money, when the Saviour provides for all of us?” The attacker said, sneer present on his voice. His arm shifts briefly, and Jiho is given a breathe.

“Then… then why are you here?”

“I am here to issue an invitation to the RFA. I hacked into the app easily, and I found the location of the apartment to make a point. Seven cannot protect you. He’s weak, he’s garbage. Instead, why don’t you join us in Paradise? Where everyone is safe and happy!”

Jiho is ashamed of gagging when the arm briefly tenses around his throat, but he can’t really help it. He scans his surroundings, trying to draw in memories, images from his mind. He had been in a similar situation before. But it had been a knife, not a fucking bomb he had been dealing with.

Stabs wounds he could deal with, but…

In his search, his eyes end up meeting Zen’s. His eyes are wide, scared and angry, but his face morphs into steel resolve, nodding just once.

He had a plan.

And Jiho was going to do his best to carry through.

 

He places his trust, his life on Zen’s hands. He makes sure the man was looking at him before mouthing the words.

 

“I love you.” To the end of times.

 

Then, in a snap moment, Jiho tucks his chin in as best as he can, begs to something above to endure what he’s going to do and lets his 60-kilos self drop. The lunatic loses his grasp on him, but the tight noose around his neck only tightens at first, chokes him, blacking out for a couple second out of pain, but his weight is too much and the other is forced to let him go if he wanted to regain his balance.

At the same time, Zen launches himself at the man who had dropped the bomb detonator.

Dizzy, Jiho tries to help but as soon as he picks himself off the ground, he’s kicked on the face and he scrambles back with his nose flowing red and strong. Beside him, the other two are wrestling against the floor, Zen’s long hair splayed across them both, as they both struggled to get their hands on the detonator, still miraculously capped. Zen is very obviously stronger, but the hacker was vicious, scratching and snarling and when he tries flipping the protective cap off the detonator anyway, Zen releases his hand pinning him down to lunge with both hands for it. He manages to make the other release it, but he fails to catch it as it skids to the ground.

Then his heartbeats sound too loudly as time seems to stop.

All three of them stare at the detonator on the floor and everything happens at a vertiginous speed.

The hacker knees Zen on the stomach to escape his grasp and dives for the detonator. Jiho knows he can’t reach it before the hacker, he knows Zen can’t reach it either, not without upsetting the bomb itself.

Jiho looks back and shares a moment of horrified clarity with Zen.

There’s no time.

Jiho dives, not for the bomb but for Zen as he was picking himself up again. They both fall heavily against the floor as the skid till they reach a wall. Zen grabs him, tries to get him off, but Jiho curls protectively around him.

Even if it killed him, he wouldn’t let anyone else-

Light.

Pain.

Deafening _pain_ -

 

 

* * *

Jiho opens his eyes.

He draws in a desperate breath, feeling for one second his entire body burning with unbelievable intensity.

He blinks up at his moldy ceiling, tears gathering in his eyes.

What…

The _fuck_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this, my dear readers, the loops have begun.  
> How will Jiho handle it?  
> What did you think? Like it so far?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baehee time!

It’s October 31st again.

Jiho stares dumbly at his old phone for a long moment, not thinking, not doing anything. Just staring.

 

 He goes out to the neighboring park in a daze, not too sure what else to do, not sure he would be allowed to do anything else anymore. His feet pull him towards the phone, as if it drew him closer. He picks it up again. He receives a mysterious message.

“Hello! The phone belongs to a friend of mine, and we really need it back. Are you free?” It read. Jiho stared at it blankly, in his pajamas, looking as insane as he was feeling.

[Unknown]: Can you help me?

He stares at the glowing message, feeling dread building up within him.

 

He knows what this is.

Despite what his harried mind wanted to believe, Jiho knew It wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t an illusion. He had died, he had been blown to bits. Which could only mean that…

He was caught in a time loop.

 

(The yearning for what he had almost had with Zen, with the RFA, makes him say yes once more.)

 

 

* * *

He goes to the apartment, does his best to appear confused and scared to the unknown person he was supposedly helping.

He sits down on the familiar-unfamiliar bed, in the big, empty apartment, hands tucked to himself.

He shivers.

(He fights down the urge to flee, to run down the stairs and try to go home. He knows he can’t. He knows he will die if he tries, and it’ll all begin again.)

He doesn’t remember what exactly he did on the first day of this new hell, so hoping he wasn’t missing any crucial details already, Jiho curls up into a ball and waits for instructions.

 

He sets up his name, but doesn’t bother changing the default profile picture. He wasn’t ready to be seen.

Everyone freaks out in the chatroom, as was expected. They demand to know who he is, how he got there.

Zen calls him a girl, and Jiho can’t believe he actually has to delete a flirty response before he accidentally sent it.

At least him behaving like Jiho was nothing but a passing interest, helped him ground himself to reality, even if it hurt. And god, it hurt.

 

But he can’t be crying, because Seven’s gonna call him at any-

 

_Ring!_

 

“He-llo!” Seven says, cheerful and playful. Jiho wondered if his responses in the chat had been that different.

If he remembered correctly, the first time he had heard Seven’s voice, he had been bordering on apologetic. But then again, Jiho had been _mad_.

“Um, hi?” Jiho replies, when the silence begins to stretch. It may be his mind playing tricks with him, but he almost thinks he hears a smile on the other side.

“So you’re Jiho, huh? Man, you’ve been taking all of this so well. Sorry again about, y’know, hacking into your accounts and all.”

Oh, right. Somehow Jiho didn’t particularly think that was important anymore. Even less so because he actually kinda knew Seven now.

“Oh, yeah well. You were obviously going to do it anyway, and I _did_ intrude into private property no matter the reason, so I think it’s only fair?”

“Oho! That’s the spirit!” Seven cheers, and it almost manages to pull a smile out of him. “Okay, but seriously. I know that the circumstances are weird but… why not take advantage of the situation now that you’re here?”

Jiho’s lips tremble as he replies casually. “What do you mean?”

The man huffs comically, as he proceeds to explain to him who they were, what the RFA was and what good could come out of helping them out.

Jiho lets him talk, lets his sweet words and empty promises wash over him. And by the time he winds down and asks for his cooperation, Jiho can sigh, smile and accept.

Once again.

 

* * *

There’s something dark already lurking in the RFA’S shadows.

This is his conclusion, he decides as he hadn’t moved an inch from the bed; staring at the happily ringing phone in his hands. He wonders what it is.

Jiho is not fooled this time when Seven greets him, how he’s nervous, and perhaps a tad guilty.

“Have you seen anything weird? Like anyone strange coming to give you chocolate, or did you see a banana boat falling from the sky?”

“…Seven what’s wrong?” He asks, wanting the man to confess everything, anything to calm down Jiho’s hysteric thoughts.

“Nooothing’s wrong! I’m just making sure you are on your feet. You know how dangerous the world can be!”

Jiho wants nothing more than to break into hysterical laughter but he knows better. “As a matter of fact I do. Anyway, is there something we should be worried about?”

“Absolutely not! I just want to spread the knowledge that safety is key! When living in an apartment alone, when dating someone, when in bed with-“

“Okay! I’ll cut you off right there.” Jiho says a bit loudly, it is mere muscle memories what makes him roll his eyes at Seven’s snickering. “Hey… is this related to the person that led me to the apartment?”

“Hmmm, what a sharp boy you are, Jiho. I’m just worried he might still be lurking near you. So you gotta be careful. He hasn’t tried contacting you?”

“No. I tried messaging him the other day, ask him who he was, but it wasn’t delivered.”

“Yeah, it’s doubtful they still have the same phone. Anyway, I’m glad to hear that you’re safe. Be careful when you go out… And just a reminder that you shouldn’t open any drawers from the storage area. You wouldn’t want to be drowned in alarms right?”

A shiver crawls up his spine as he remembers the bomb.

God, why did he even agree to return to this hellhole?

Because he was poor. Right. He stands corrected.

“Um, Seven…”

“Yeah? What’s wrong beautiful boy?” Seven laughs. “Oh wow, I don’t know how Zen can say these kinds of things with a straight face.”

“Um, are alarms the only security system installed here?”

There’s a bit of an awkward pause.

“Well, yeah. Why are you asking that? Are you worried for your safety?”

Jiho hugs himself, looking around. “Kinda.” He whispers.

“No worries! There are security cameras outside! And thermal detectors on the entrance as well as very loud alarms ready to go off if anything suspicious is detected.”

Jiho feels too uncomfortable to push. Feels too uncomfortable to continue talking. “Yeah, thanks.” He says eventually. “I gotta go, then.”

“Sure, sure thing, uh. Talk to you later?”

“Sure.”

Jiho hangs up and feels like screaming.

Well, at least it wasn’t easily triggered. Otherwise Seven would have given him some other warning. Maybe opening the drawers would detonate it.

He needed to get out.

And still Jiho knows he’s not leaving. He doesn’t have anywhere else to go.

And still, his cracked, hurting heart wanted to believe. Believe he would meet Zen again.

And fall in love.

 

* * *

As if life wanted to mock the only wish he’d had, Zen flirts with him, just like the first time. With his morning calls, his midnight messages.

Because he had been so close to him, he’d been there to flirt back, until it was no longer a game, that his words hurt. It hurt too much to remember what he had lost.

Jiho’s a contradictory man on his best days, so despite his yearning, he pulls away from him. It hurts, it hurts so much.

(And the thought, idea that getting involved with him would kill the both of them again leaves him awake at night for hours on end.)

Instead, he decides to focus on Jaehee. He had been worried about her, but he hadn’t done as much as he could do, as Zen occupied his every thought.

It was also the fact that he still felt lingering guilt over the fact that he had inadvertently lied to her and began dating her idol.

Jaehee reveals in the attention, and she shows him a side he hadn’t seen the time before.

Without realizing, he falls in love again.

 

* * *

Jiho commiserates with Jaehee for her overwork, nags Jumin all the way, and makes sure that she knows that she can vent with him if she needs to. She’s too meek to do so, so Jiho took the time to call her a couple times a week so she could complain about her unfair conditions.

And even so, Jaehee doesn’t take advantage of him this way. Yes, she would go on angry rants at time, but she would always ask about him. If Jiho had eaten, if he was sleeping alright. Jiho never tells her about his nightmares, but he’s never told anyone.

He complains to her about the RFA potential guests, how some are so delicate, so eccentric. Some he could call, others he needed to message and wait an eternity to hear back from them.

Jaehee asks him if he likes musicals.

Jiho lies and says no.

It dampens a bit of her excitement, but Jiho eventually lets her blabber on about Zen’s most recent performance.

He can pretend they’re talking about someone else.

 

* * *

Zen keeps trying to call him, for some reason. And it should have gotten easier the more he did it, but it still hurts the same when he doesn’t answer.

He never asks him about it though. Jiho almost thinks he’s imagining it.

He refreshes his knowledge on the different catering businesses available, ignores any but the venue the party had been at, last time, and tries not to think about Zen.

He looks at his phone as it pings with a new message. From Jaehee.

It was just her convenience-store-bought lunch, but somehow it managed to draw a smile on Jiho’s ever sad face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, huh?
> 
> So the second loop begins! It's Baehee's time now!
> 
> This chapter is shorter because I'm not too sure on how much detail to include for the loops, because I don't want it to get boring, and I also may have a problem with how to break up Jaehee's loop. It's kinda concise so far, so maybe I need to add more dialogue? idk  
> anyway!  
> Jiho is sad and tired! As per usual! Will Baehee be able to lift his spirits!?

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Worth reading? Don't forget to drop a comment!


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